Focus on surviving. Your brain is doing awful things to you, but you can seize control back. Focus on self-care. Set reminders on your phone to eat...SOMETHING. Try to be out with your friends or family as much as possible, and if you can't, find places in public you can hang out during the day. Every time you feel something bad, remember: your brain is lying to you. Get your close people on board so they can recognize symptoms - this is not something to be ashamed of. Call in all the help you can get. Snuggle with your pets. I have found that benadryl helps with anxiety (and sleeping)(I am not a doctor and this should not be construed as medical advice). It's okay to be totally selfish right now - you would help your people through anything, and so will they if they understand the issues you're facing. There are a few alternatives to benzos for anxiety - beta blockers, antihistamines, etc. See if your doctor can prescribe some of that, and if he won't, just ask about OTC benadryl.

You can survive it. It's hard work, but it's so worth it.