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@parus

There seem to be triggers everywhere. I surely have been traumatized recently by family physician I was used by her to give a new NP training and was not asked first. The recent visit a specialist went well. I am having horrible dreams and waking up with panic attacks. It has not been this bad for a long time. It will take time to keep myself grounded. What I experienced should not happen to anyone. Being blind-sided can have drastic results for some of us. I have to just work my way through this.
I was going to go with my son and his family for Thanksgiving dinner and I just cannot do it. Bummer.
I need to get back on my feet as staying alone all of the time is not healthy.

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Replies to "There seem to be triggers everywhere. I surely have been traumatized recently by family physician I..."

@parus

I agree, being blind-sided can be terribly unsettling. You are right to say that you will have to work through this and I know that you will do just that. You are a very determined and gifted person.

I hope for you a good day, in whatever you choose to do.

Blessings,

Teresa

@parus

I think that unexpected change is more impacting on those of us who are doing the coping dance with mental illnesses. I catch myself using words like should, ought to, need to, and so on. When I use them at the therapist's, I will stop and find a different way to express my thoughts.

I'm learning, albeit very slowly, that I don't have to feel guilty because of the shoulds and need to's. I'm working at letting myself be who or where I am right now, and not letting someone else tell me I "should" be better by now. Or I "need to" do this or that. Sometimes, I wonder if I'd be better off without having to hear those guilt producers. Being single does have its advantages.

I just let myself sleep in until 10:45 this morning, and didn't worry about what the rest of the household thought about it. I'm doing pretty well limiting the number of hours I sleep, but once in awhile it feels good to stay in bed.

I hope you enjoy a relaxing, quiet day of being thankful for the good things from your past. This weekend, I plan to make a list of people for whom I'm thankful, and when I get back home, I plan to hand write thank you notes and mail them. I plan to, but we'll see if I can make myself do it when the time comes.

Jim