Hi,
I'm just signed up to this site today. I'm so happy I did.
I would like to respond to this post, as I feel that if you were to see a Psychiatrist, it will change your life. I, for many years, was reluctant (stigma) but finally knew I had to in order to survive. It has taken a while and right now in life, I'm finally about to enjoy my life. It has taken being on three types of medications to get me here, but I will take it any day versus not wanting to wake up in the morning because I didn't have the energy to get through it. You sound very motivated and driven. I believe with the help of a good mental wellness team you will get there! Hang in there and know that a lot of people have gone through and going through the same thing.