Unable to function

Hi Jim,
Thanks for your message and it's nice to connect with you on here. Sorry you also struggle with excess sleep...it's a very frustrating problem. I have a family member with sleep apnea whose sleep (and daytime fatigue) improved with a CPAP machine; do you use one?
I actually went for a sleep study recently, as I may have something called "Idiopathic Hypersomnia" (in addition to depression), but it will take a while for results.
I've definitely felt that the excess sleep worsens my depression. It's hard to have a good quality of life when sleep dominates it 🙁

I too have set multiple alarms (and even placed them far away); but usually what happens is that I hit snooze on all of them, and even if I get up to silence an alarm I immediately go back to sleep afterwards. I often don't even remember waking up to turn off the alarms...it's like I am in a daze.
A doctor in the past suggested using a light box (used for SAD but also may be helpful for non-seasonal depression) in the mornings; I tried this the past and it helped only slightly. I may try it again as I have nothing to lose. It was also suggested to get my Vitamin D levels checked out. I live in Toronto, Canada, and lately the days have been very overcast...though my excess sleep issues still occur on sunny days. A psychiatrist once put me on Modafinil (a wakefulness-promoting agent), which helped a little, but I couldn't tolerate it due to the headache side effect. Sorry I don't have any better ideas; excess sleep is a tough nut to crack, so it seems, unfortunately.

Thanks for encouraging me to get help. I really hope your sleep issues get better, and hope to stay in touch.
Best,
Bren

Hi Tom,
It's funny you mention that because I had a diagnosis of Bipolar Type 2 due to one hypomanic episode sometime in my early twenties. But for me, I never had that again so now it's just morphed into recurrent depression with no hypomania in between (and actually more of a low-grade depression in between severe depression episodes). It seems there is a lot of variation when it comes to individual patterns. That episode of hypomania was definitely self-destructive (and unfortunately, not even remotely productive), and plunged me into an especially severe depression.

I've been on lithium, but wasn't comfortable with it due to side effect concerns. Thanks for reminding me there are other treatments available, and for encouraging me to keep seeking treatment that works; that gives me some hope.

I am very glad to hear you have a great psych nurse who helped you through med changes (they can be so tough and frustrating!), and that you found a good medication regime.

Nice to meet you, and would love to keep in touch,
Brenda

Hi all,
Thank you so much for all of your thoughtful replies to my posting. It was nice to feel so welcomed here.

Sorry if I didn't "properly" reply to everyone (not sure if I had to use "@")...still figuring out how this works.

I'll see my doctor next Monday, and will wait for a psychiatrist and therapist. In the meantime, I'm setting small goals: like just getting outside and walking our dog around the block, and perhaps going to the library for more CBT/mindfulness books. I don't feel ready to tackle harder tasks, like getting back to research, just yet...it feels too overwhelming and I feel too scatterbrained 🙁

Thank you again for your kind support, and I am also thinking of everyone here.

-Brenda

Hi Bren. I too have sleep issues - mostly insomnia and lately bad dreams. I am a 72 yr. old woman who always needed 9 hours to feel my best. I now suffer from interrupted sleep and sometimes don't nod off until 5 am! However, I don't have to answer to anyone but myself. I suffer from Depression and Anxiety which can cause exhaustion. Ocasionally, I have slept 10-12 hours almost uninterrupted and I accept that as my body telling me it needs proper rest. Don't fret if that's your case. If it becomes a nightly event I would check with my doctor. Happy Dreams.

Hi Brenda! I am happy I am not alone wiith experiencing sleeping disorder as well as morning anxiety. I also live in Canada in the french part (Quebec), that's why it's hard for me to rEspond to all messages ... Mornings feel like hell for me. I will see my psychiatrist next Monday to decide which medecine I should try. I am also having ect and I don't think it really helps right now. I Think the weather really doesn't help and the time of the year as well. I will try the lightbox, in case it might do something positive.

Wish I could have news from you when it's possible. I am also on the community and I feel it's good to be part of it. Please excuse my english ...

Wish you the best!

Sylvie 🙂

@bren1985 hey I'm lilgriz but you can call me Serina. Boy I could talk to you forever we seem to share a lot of the same feelings. I was diagnosed as Bipolar 1 in 1999 and have went thru hell trying to find a semi stable state in my life/head. I've lost all hope for a completely stable state of mind but semi seems to be working pretty good. I am usually manic more than depressed but I rapid cycle sometimes each day. I also have ms and my medicine for it causes depression. hahaha. Like I need any help?! But no that is not what always happens. I have the opposite reaction and get manic like really, really manic to were I may sleep 3 hours on a good night. And then this builds and builds and I crash into a huge depression which is where I am at now. I've been sleeping so much I got up the other day and ask my dad what he wanted for breakfast and he said he was fixing to go to bed that he had just ate a sandwich for supper. hahaha. Its left me really confused that is just one example. But most the time I am not this bad and I pray it will pass quickly. I don't have a therapist, I think I ran them all off. hahaha. But I love my psychiatrist. She is a wonderful and caring woman. I have taken one antidepressant for years and it has worked well for me but it has help as I take a once a month injection also and between the 2 they seem to work pretty good. Before 3 years ago I had been in the psych ward at least 30 times but I haven't been back in about 3 maybe 4 years. I understand this dark place you feel your in and for me it was very scary. I have no memory when I walk around in these confused states of mind. I probably should be in the hospital. The last couple of days I have been sleeping about 15-16 hours a day. Then get up wonder around the house lost. Half the time I don't know what day it is. But I am not freaking out yet. the episodes don't usually last that long before I shake them off. I believe your doing the right things to fight your depression and even though I don't do it now because I just had 2 back surgeries this year is exercise. Ask your doc; exercise is the best pill you can swallow. As far as finding the right antidepressant goes you have to be patient and remember that psychiatry is a lot of trial and error. But you all will figure it out. I hope you get to feeling better quickly and getting to know you better Brenda. And don't forget, we will be hear to talk to when you need someone.

@bren1985

Hi, Brenda. I actually woke up 5 minutes before the alarm went off this morning at 9:30! I was pleased. I used a CPAP machine for 15+ years, and recently switched to a BIPAP. I never sleep without it, even for naps.

Thursday is my therapy day. I look forward to it all week. Sometimes, it feels like 20 days between Thursdays. Until March of this year, I hadn't been able to see a therapist for 18 months, and by the end of 2016, I was in bad shape, very depressed and having suicidal thoughts.

The forecast here is for snow this weekend. I need to finish up some outside jobs before we get significant snow or temps in the teens. I washed the car yesterday, but it took so long to wash it that I didn't have time to wax. Next week, I hear that it's supposed to warm up a bit, so maybe I'll give it another quick wash, and wax it before winter.

I have days when I can make myself get out of the recliner and do a few things. I feel better about myself when I do that. On the other days, I feel worthless, and get even more depressed, so I know that I really want and need to get moving.

I have idiopathic peripheral neuropathy, so walking or standing very much causes a fair amount of pain in my feet. The only way to stop the pain is to lie down on my back on the bed. Having my feet up in the recliner doesn't help. I'm tall, so I have an ottoman in front of the recliner, so my feet don't just hang off the end. It helps a little, but bed is best. The danger of being on the bed is that I might doze off for a couple of hours. So much for getting up with the alarm.

Time to turn off the screen and do all my bedtime routine. Maybe I'll be able to get up again tomorrow morning, if not before the alarm rings, when it does, without pushing snooze. Maybe you'll be able to start a new habit of rising earlier, too. I'll let you know how I do.

Jim

Hi Brenda, @bren1985

Regarding CBT, have you read David Burns book, "Feeling Good Handbook"? He has lots of examples of how to deal with thoughts that are not helpful and then there is a place where you can write your own new thoughts. You seem to be very articulate and I think it might be helpful for you.

You mentioned that often you cannot come up with alternative/balanced thoughts to replace the ones that come up "automatically." This is where meds and therapy would be good.

We would love to hear from you after your appointment on Monday. Will you post us again?

Teresa

@bren1985 hi Brenda, @lisalucier mentioned me as someone who might have some insights for you but I unfortunately do not. I’m sure it must be debilitating to be going through all you are dealing with but any periods of similar expeeiences for me have been brief and have definitely had a source. Right now I am going through a period of craving sleep but it is due to being in considerable pain from a recent knee replacement - when I sleep I am without pain. Other than that it’s been from temporary situational depression. I wish I could offer you some suggestions but for me I know the only thing that seems to help is forcing myself to be active. That’s not easy but it does help.
I hope you are able to get some answers and some help when you see the doctor on Monday, and I am sorry I could not help.
JK

Hi there friend ..... first, I want to encourage you to find a really good therapist ..... a PsyD .... a Psychologist. Then start to tell him or her what is going on. He may or may not send to to an MD for medication, but even if he does, would you rather feel lousy and not take anything? or would you rather feel better and be taking a med.? That's a question only you can answer.
You are not alone in feeling useless, life is over, and the sense that "why am I still here?" I'm 72, have an apartment fairly close to my 2 girls (I moved down here from a condo and town I absolutely loved to be closer to them), and while I enjoy the times I am with them, they have their own lives, and I can't expect them to cater to me. But, here I am, alone in my apartment with my 2 cats (and hopefully soon a dog), it's a low-income apartment, so a lot of the people aren't around at all during the day so for me that = no friends. I still have 2 close friends in MD, but only 1 here, and she works all the time. I feel totally useless. I know if I found a church to go to, and got involved in something there, it would help, but so far I've not had any success at that either.
So, you see, there are a lot of us out here. At your age, you've got a whole lot of life ahead of you. Take the time to do some of the things you've always wanted to do ..... I wish I would have when I was your age. I wanted so badly to hang glide, hike on the Appalachian Trail and camp in the woods overnight, go back to school, open a little business. I do like to whitewater raft, but I have not done that for awhile either. So I say, GO FOR IT, see a really good PsyD, and when you're feeling better, get out there and just DO IT! (I'm talking to myself too).
Keep in touch ... there are some wonderful and very wise people on this site, and I'm sure you'll get lots more suggestions besides mine.
abby