Hi Rachel @buckeyegurl
Wow! You have been through so much already! My father received his heart transplant in July 2017 after being on the list just under 2 months. He was very fortunate not to have a long wait. There is still much anxiety and high emotions during the wait. I can't speak for him on how he felt but as his daughter and primary caregiver I was more concerned with him and his stress than my own. I was determined to stay strong for him and I would worry about myself later. I feel this is still the case close to five months post transplant. I think (at least for me) you need to allow yourself to express your feelings and fears to your family. Then, stay strong, have faith and know that after the transplant and the recovery life will be great! Hang in there, will be thinking of you! 🙂