@gailb Appreciate you apologizing and yes, it did sound preachy. I think I handled the "preachy" version well. Mayhap because I have been preached at so much I no longer get all riled about it. You were speaking what you believe and this is okay. We do not know what others have experienced and how our words may affect another.
I will admit that suggesting a self-help book did raise my BP. I have heard others suggesting these types of books and I want to allow my tongue that can be like a letter opener (and no profanity) to start waging. Again, we are not wired the same. I may work on writing a self help book of my own... :). For a long time now I have heard other oldies speaking of a senior moment whereas I say I am having a "sage" moment so when I read age-ing to sage-ing I did get a laugh so it was worth the mention of the book (won't do Amazon and have no kindle [?]) LHM, I am deprived!!!
This is why I would never volunteer to mentor-narian, not me!!! I am a coward and use an alias and this is done so for a valid reason. I do not like being anonymous and I am not ashamed of my identity or wanting to be someone I am not...I do enjoy this community and thankful I gave it a try. I perused many and stayed here. It is designed well and a well designed operated community which shows the staff, etc. work together-this I like and admire.
I assure you I did not take it personally and believe your intent was one of being helpful and likely helped another if I came across as reprimanding or critical I apologize as well.
Shalome