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seeker70 (@seeker70)

Long-term depression

Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Jan 2, 2019 | Replies (563)

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@parus

@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to me. If I cannot use my CBT skills then what else is there? I am 66 and I do not mention the “D” word to anyone. I feel like a leper in society. I surely will get back on track. Currently I lack the desire to even try. Yup, listening to the depression demon. Native Americans left the tribe when they were no longer of value. Welcome to my pitiful world.

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Replies to "@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to..."

Ladybugmg, How about writing a short list of the things you want to do for just today. Not too many things. You may work on them simultaneously, for instance laundry & paying bills, but do not venture out of the list for the day. I find this helps and keeps me from becoming overwhelmed. ­čÖé My list looks a little childish, but this is OK. It's just for me and my sanity. LOL (I include everything).

I hope the exchanging of ideas as to how each one of us uses coping skills helps others. I like the method of using colorful markers on a white board! Good suggestion!

Hi @ladybugmg, focus is one of the ways I have battled depression for the past 5 decades. Some would argue that it is an avoidance technique; I argue otherwise. Depression made it hard for me to focus and accomplish things in life. By focusing on one thing at a time and establishing specific goals to follow, my life has more meaning and I feel more productive. While this does not eliminate the depression, it does seem to keep it at a lower level — the clouds are not as dark. Clearly, it is necessary to focus on more than one item during any period of time — but I think of it as a hyper focus on one important goal, with the rest being secondary. As each goal is achieved, another item moves up to the hyper category. It works for me …

If you like to read, I enjoyed reading the Checklist Manifesto. While not read (or I expect written) specifically with depression in mind, I found it quite helpful.

@vllynn

Some helpful suggestions. Thank you for sharing your "tool-box" for dealing with depression.

We all learn from each other. I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

Thoughtful insight! I am concentrating using the "one thing at a time" and it was very helpful in taking away that overwhelmed feelings of having too much to contend with this morning.

I am also experimenting with, instead of making of list, I am using the backs of my old business/professional cards to write down items that I must do or make decisions about. I accomplished quite a few of them this morning and throwing away the completed card gave me a good feeling. I wonder if anyone else has tried that method of throwing away a completed action instead of crossing the item off on the list?

That is a big really good idea about making and then tossing "to-do cards," @ladybugmg, especially for those who get a sense of satisfaction when they get to throw something out.

How are you implementing the one-thing-at-a-time approach, @ladybugmg? Curious about what that looks like, as I'm guessing quite a number of our members also feel overwhelmed at times.

Thanks, gman007. I run my mouth too much, make really stupid mistakes, and feel lower than a snake's belly when or if I ever hurt anyone's feelings. Or step on their toes. I am on the Autism Spectrum, which accounts for some of my literal and figurative clumsiness. The rest is all me. People have explained to me that my 49% Western European heritage accounts for the hard copy facts that I am 49% Cherokee and Choctaw. French, Spanish, Italuan, Portugese, and Greek are the groups that my ancestors came from a very long time ago. For some reason, DNA searches on females will not show up Native American ancestry. The story is that my ancestors "passed" enough in looks that when the call came to leave homes for the Reservations, my kin said "Un uh, we ain't going,"and hid in the mountains. After awhile, evetyone forgot about us. Apparently they reappeared later, much paler from the hiding, and resumed their lives much as before. That part I don't have clear information about yet. But I intend to do further research. I have found cousins through this obsession of mine. I find it rewarding to run into family everywhere . It has also reinforced my sincere belief that we all come from somewhere else. And that we are all connected. Much more than we know. Oh, and I will be attempting Spanish this fall, with the thirteen year old. Adios!
Mamacita

hI mAMA..JUST SAW WHAET YOU SKAID ABOUT nATIVE aMERICAN NOT SHOWING UP ON DNA…iDIDNT KNOW…i SENT IN MY MONEY AND NEVER SAW ANY MENTION OF IT ON THE RESULTS AND WAS SO DARN MAD…IS THAT WHY??

Dear@mattie, Yes, I was told by someone from Ancestry .com the males will show the Native American. But the females will show only where the Native Americans came from. Supposedly, my Father's side of the family came from Great Britain and Western Europe. Spain, Portugal, France, Italy, and Greece. When I saw my cousin (Let's call him Alvin) at the funeral, I didn't think to ask him about his results. But I will pursue it. I find it rather humerous that all these years I could just as easily have lived on a Reservation. Life on a Reservation is no picnic. My cousin taught there for many years. Her home had no running water.But she loved teaching the children. I would like to understand more of the scientific explanation of all of this.
Light and Love,
Mamacita

@parus , I know that feeling very well. People think depression is all about sadness, but that's just a small part of it. Physical and/or mental conditions and illnesses do contribute to the problem. When we are no longer able to function as we did in our younger years, especially, it can be depressing. We look at all these younger people and some times think " life is wasted on the young." When I was younger I did not have the patience that I have now. And I was always considered an extremely patient person. My husband's health is so precarious that any plans we make may be changed st the very last minute. My health was that way for years, so I do understand his situation. Mine could change at any moment. I could have a Fibro flare and find myself totally incapacitated. Sometimes I drive the GrannyScooter at the grocery store, knowing full well some folks think I'm taking advantage of it. I don't care anymore. Life is to be lived. And I will find a way to make it work. Most days! Love and hope to you!