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Are you ever afraid of dying alone because of your mental illness?
Mental Health | Last Active: Jan 1, 2018 | Replies (32)Comment receiving replies
Hi again ....and this might be a touchy subject, so, moderators, if you feel it needs to not show up, I understand. During the worst of my depression, and I still wonder about it ...... I'm a Christian and have been for many years, but when my mind goes into these dark places, my mind starts thinking things like, "what if this isn't real. what if it's all a big hoax?"
That scares the bejeebers out of me.
abby
Replies to "Hi again ....and this might be a touchy subject, so, moderators, if you feel it needs..."
Abby,
I have had the same thought, or at least, similar thoughts. I retired from ministry after 35 years, though, technically, I'm still a minister. I think that these questions are pretty common, if that's any help.
It's our nature to question. I've always been quick to accept what I hear, but very not gullible. I'm a third generation pastor, to the manor born, so to speak, and accepted Christ as a child, but after I retired (because of depression and suicidal ideation, among other things), I felt a loss of faith for a time, and the thoughts do recur. I don't know the answers. I can only speak for myself. I think that when those thoughts come, I accept that they're there, but I know that they come and go, and that a lifetime of relationship with God can't be lost that easily. I count on that long term relationship with Him as being something that is very real, and something I don't want to give up.
Depression messes with our minds. I have to remind myself that those negative thoughts that I have when I'm in a dark place are very real, but they aren't consistent with my experience. The thoughts don't necessarily go away immediately, but when I'm in a better place, things usually come into perspective.
I believe that God is a rational being, and isn't intimidated by our questions about His existence. Some people say that it's wrong to voice questions and doubts, but I don't agree. I'm seeing from your words that you haven't concluded that it's all a hoax, but that you hold out the hope that your faith has been placed in the Truth. That Truth has never changed. Remember the words "I am the truth, the light and the way."?
I believe that you'll come through this hard time, in a dark place, a stronger person who has a stronger faith. I want to tell you not to be afraid of the questions, but I know how scary and unsettling they are. I think that a lot of us are afraid of our fears, and working through them is a huge challenge.
I pray God's blessing on you this week.
Jim
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@amberpep Abby, your honesty always impresses me! You say things that lots of us would not admit to. I believe it is a common thought for someone who has been abused to doubt faith. Are you familiar with the book, Your God is Too Small? It was written along time ago (can't remember the author's name) but it deals with the fact that sometimes our childhood experiences color our image of who God really is. it might be worth looking that book up. Also, Dr. Sandra Wilson, a Christian psychologist, wrote a great book called, Into Abba's Arms. This book is about find the acceptance you have always wanted.
Blessings,
Teresa