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Are you ever afraid of dying alone because of your mental illness?
Mental Health | Last Active: Jan 1, 2018 | Replies (32)Comment receiving replies
Not certain which I fear the most-dying or living alone because of mental inadequacies. I tell no one how despondency has slowly entered and is like a leach that is sucking a way at my will to even try. Paste on a smile and dare not tell another about the fears inside. Sounds like one wallowing in self-pity. I am wrought w/ physical and emotional pain. I desire to be included and, yet, can no longer find the energy.
Move on? For what?
Surely I will get through this. Currently unenthusiastic. No longer have the desire to even try to placate myself with platitudes. The depression deceptions have a hold and not even wanting to fight the darkness. It always returns.
Replies to "Not certain which I fear the most-dying or living alone because of mental inadequacies. I tell..."
@parus-- so great to hear from you. Very sorry things have felt dark.
You really have a way with words and put into eloquent text what many are thinking on the inside. You are not alone--we are with you.
@parus talking about hitting the nail on the head. Are you like a therapist, doc, or even an author. Your words could move mountains. Sorry it took so long to reply, just some days pain, some day depression, and believe it or not even days of mania prevent me from getting on the computer. The things you say are like you have a psychic look into my brain. And as I just got through telling someone else before I got to your reply, self pity can be so ugly. And when certain people listen to you, you can begin to tell by the expression on their face that that is the thought going through their unsympathetic mind. Sympathy is not what I want, just understanding. I think that is 2 different ideas here. I don't know about you but I'm tired. "Move on? For What?" Sometimes I think move on to where? I've tried all directions and keep ending back up in the same spot.
@parus Thank you!
@lilgrizz BTW-not an author, therapist nor a doc. Hope things are improving at times. Grasp the concept of returning to the same spot and also the fatigue. Self-pity does dawn its ugly face uninvited. Most days I feel like a conglomerate of negativity and incompetence. Just got a new laptop this past Wednesday and already giving me fits. A tech person I am not and the attitude of this contraption has proven to me it does not agree with requests by telling me "unresponsive programs"-this technological beast and the user have a lot in common!!! I will omit a streak of deleted expletives as this would be indicative of crudeness and a lacking vocabulary. Moving like a slug for now...no salt-shakers needed...grin.
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@patshaw
I am sorry that you find yourself in such a tough place right now. I find your words, "depression deceptions," to be very descriptive. Depression really does cause deceptions, doesn't it?
Thanks for sharing this with us. We hope that this time of "deception" will lift soon.
Teresa