1. < Mental Health

~ Lonesome ~

Posted by Barb @amberpep, Oct 6, 2017

Hi everyone .... well, I've reached the end of my last nerve. About a year ago, I had to put my little dog down ..... she was a Cavalier, King Charles Spaniel, who was rescued from a puppy mill - she was 4 and had given birth to multiple liters. She never got out of the crate, and the day after I took her the mill was going to shoot her because she was no long producing what they wanted. She was a tri-color, and had the classical heart murmur. All Cavaliers have that, I guess from poor breeding practices ..... goes from level 1 to level 5. She was 11 when I had to put her to sleep. Well, you all know all the moving I've been doing ... MD to VA, then another place in VA (which is quite unsafe I'm finding out). I have not been happy since I left my condo in MD. I'd lived in the Frederick, MD area for 30 years, and that move was a big mistake (now I know!). Well, I have 2 cats, but I so much miss that little girl. It's been a year now, and I still can't look at her picture without tearing up. So, I've been in touch with a Cavalier rescue group that lives quite close to where I used to live in MD, and I'm just praying that I can find one that I can both afford and whose murmur isn't passed 2. I'm lonesome .... I have a neighbor who is a friend and she has a dog. My kids are great people, and do what they can and have time for to either come over, bring me some food, or go somewhere with me, but they all have lives and families and I cannot expect them to fill in the gap. I'm used to taking in a puppy mill rescue, as my Molly was afraid of grass when I got her, I had to teach her how to walk up steps, and for a long time anytime someone lifted an arm to scratch their head or anything like that, she'd duck and run. Obviously, she'd been abused along with everything else. I so hope I can get one ..... I need a loyal friend down here, and one of them would be perfect.
abby

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Lorraine | @desirea | Oct 17, 2018

@gailb Hello! I am sorry to hear about your wood finches. Forty years ago I had a cockatiel and a parakeet that brought much joy in my life. I didn't know a whole lot about them either but did with parakeets. The family grew up with them. I bought their food at the corner store not a pet shop. They both developed a beak disease from stale food and I had to put them both down. I think of them often and guilty for not looking after them better. I make sure now with Baby that his food is fresh. Nowadays we have expiry dates on food. We all make innocent mistakes and blame ourselves for a lifetime for them. I love cats. They make me laugh so much. They can cuddle also not like birds. Great companions and love the posse effect 🙂

I hope to have the left carotid artery done if the surgeon will agree. I live in Canada and the operation is free but not sure how far free is, if they do the left. It's 80% clogged and could have a stroke anytime so I hope he will. I could have a stroke tomorrow as well during the operation. What I am worried more about is if I do have one, there is really no one that could look after me. My brother is waiting for an operation to get a pacemaker and looking after his wife that is ill with COPD. I have it also. The only smokers in our family clan. My faith is with God and he knows best. I appreciate your thoughts for me tomorrow and best wishes. I also have plenty of plaque in the stomach also. It all started when my practitioner nurse decided to test both arteries for heart beats and from there I've never looked back with tests and more tests. We don't have many doctors here because they don't make the money like the U.S, so they all moved to the States. We have very little heart surgeons and the wait was 4 months to get this operation. Baby boomers in Canada beware!! They will die waiting to see the surgeon.
Ok done talking.. I am so stressed right now ... have been eating sweet and salty foods all day and smoking too much!! Will be glad it will be over tomorrow Gail. Take care of your self and will keep you posted when I get back.

Lorraine

REPLY
1 reply
calypso | @calypso | Oct 19, 2018

Dogs are such wonderful companions, always there for us. Until you can get another dog why don't you share some of your love with your local shelter or rescue group if that is possible. I know they always need walkers or people to help them. It's a good way to give some of your love to those who need it and it will make you feel better too.

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Barb | @amberpep | Oct 20, 2018

HOORAY! I'm surprised I didn't post this before, but for Mother's Day, my 3 kids (all adults) got me a Cockalier .... a cross between a Cavalier and a Cocker Spaniel. She's about 17 lbs, white, red ears and red large spots on her. They didn't tell me where we were going that day .... they just said, "Mom, wanta' go for a ride?" When we got there - about 3 hours away, I could not believe my eyes ..... a little 7 lb ball of fur. She's now 10 months and, with the exception of not totally being potty trained - almost there, but not quite, she is a dream and such a blessing to my life. I know Frederick has it's draw for me, but with kids that are that thoughtful and loving, how could I even think of leaving? Wish I could put her picture up, but not being very tech. savvy, I have no idea how to do that.
abby

REPLY
1 reply
JK | @contentandwell | Oct 21, 2018
In reply to @amberpep "Hi all ..... it's been a year now and for this passed Mother's Day my kids..." + (show)
@amberpep

Hi all ..... it's been a year now and for this passed Mother's Day my kids all pitched in and got me a Cockalier .... a cross between a Cocker Spaniel and a Cavalier. They're trying to breed the heart problem out of the Cavies. My kids are just wonderful to me .... this was from a Cockalier breeder .... only a few in the country. This is the kind of thing that would make it impossible to move back to MD. The kids obviously love me and do sweet things like this. I still miss my condo in MD, but I think it's slowly fading. I am so thankful for that!
abby

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@amberpep I'm happy to hear you sounding more upbeat than you have been, that's great.
I would love to see a picture of your Cockalier. I've never heard of that cross-breed before. I had a cavalier, a wonderful, sweet dog, the Blenheim color. He lived to be 14! I know that's unusual for that breed. I would love to get another but my husband is vehemently opposed.
JK

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JK | @contentandwell | Oct 21, 2018
In reply to @gailb "@desirea I'm sorry to hear you must have surgery on your right carotid artery tomorrow. You..." + (show)
@gailb

@desirea

I'm sorry to hear you must have surgery on your right carotid artery tomorrow. You shared that you are terrified, and I would be as well. They do need to take care of that loose plaque though, so that's good. Will they operate on the left artery as well after you've recovered from the current surgery? I'm asking because I know I have some blocking of my left carotid artery that may require work in the future. I will look forward to hearing about your recovery from the surgery.

I had 2 wood finches in the past, but they both died because I bought the wrong bird seed for them. Such sweet birds. I felt like a murderer after I found out why they died. I just felt awful for a long time. I won't have birds as pets now since I did that. I just didn't know and the bird man didn't tell me what to feed them. I'm glad you have a parakeet. I always loved those when I was little. I have 3 kitties--actually they are my step-daughter's--and I dearly love them. I have had kitties for about 40 years off and on. They are great companions for me. They are a little posse' and follow me around all the time like puppies. LOL

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping for the very best outcome.

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@gailb I read somewhere in the past week that people with cats have a 40% lower chance of having heart problems! They make such great little companions and I would imagine they can make a person feel more calm, just petting them.
JK

REPLY
JK | @contentandwell | Oct 21, 2018
In reply to @desirea "@gailb Hello! I am sorry to hear about your wood finches. Forty years ago I had..." + (show)
@desirea

@gailb Hello! I am sorry to hear about your wood finches. Forty years ago I had a cockatiel and a parakeet that brought much joy in my life. I didn't know a whole lot about them either but did with parakeets. The family grew up with them. I bought their food at the corner store not a pet shop. They both developed a beak disease from stale food and I had to put them both down. I think of them often and guilty for not looking after them better. I make sure now with Baby that his food is fresh. Nowadays we have expiry dates on food. We all make innocent mistakes and blame ourselves for a lifetime for them. I love cats. They make me laugh so much. They can cuddle also not like birds. Great companions and love the posse effect 🙂

I hope to have the left carotid artery done if the surgeon will agree. I live in Canada and the operation is free but not sure how far free is, if they do the left. It's 80% clogged and could have a stroke anytime so I hope he will. I could have a stroke tomorrow as well during the operation. What I am worried more about is if I do have one, there is really no one that could look after me. My brother is waiting for an operation to get a pacemaker and looking after his wife that is ill with COPD. I have it also. The only smokers in our family clan. My faith is with God and he knows best. I appreciate your thoughts for me tomorrow and best wishes. I also have plenty of plaque in the stomach also. It all started when my practitioner nurse decided to test both arteries for heart beats and from there I've never looked back with tests and more tests. We don't have many doctors here because they don't make the money like the U.S, so they all moved to the States. We have very little heart surgeons and the wait was 4 months to get this operation. Baby boomers in Canada beware!! They will die waiting to see the surgeon.
Ok done talking.. I am so stressed right now ... have been eating sweet and salty foods all day and smoking too much!! Will be glad it will be over tomorrow Gail. Take care of your self and will keep you posted when I get back.

Lorraine

Jump to this post

@desirea Lorraine, I am way behind in reading these messages because I was away. I hope your surgery went well.

I am interested in these posts about carotid arteries because my sister had a problem with one of hers and has to go yearly for a check-up on it. I know she worries a lot but so far it's been fine, no changes for the worse.
JK

REPLY
JK | @contentandwell | Oct 21, 2018
In reply to @amberpep "HOORAY! I'm surprised I didn't post this before, but for Mother's Day, my 3 kids (all..." + (show)
@amberpep

HOORAY! I'm surprised I didn't post this before, but for Mother's Day, my 3 kids (all adults) got me a Cockalier .... a cross between a Cavalier and a Cocker Spaniel. She's about 17 lbs, white, red ears and red large spots on her. They didn't tell me where we were going that day .... they just said, "Mom, wanta' go for a ride?" When we got there - about 3 hours away, I could not believe my eyes ..... a little 7 lb ball of fur. She's now 10 months and, with the exception of not totally being potty trained - almost there, but not quite, she is a dream and such a blessing to my life. I know Frederick has it's draw for me, but with kids that are that thoughtful and loving, how could I even think of leaving? Wish I could put her picture up, but not being very tech. savvy, I have no idea how to do that.
abby

Jump to this post

@amberpep I found our cavalier very hard to totally potty train. Sometimes I wondered if he was training us or we were training him.
JK

REPLY
GailBL, Alumni Mentor | @gailb | Oct 21, 2018

@desirea

I hope your surgery has gone well and that we will be hearing from you when you're up to it. I'm thinking about you.

REPLY
shar1438 | @shar1438 | Jan 16, 2022
In reply to @amberpep "Like you, I am Bipolar 2, and have no one to talk about it with except..." + (show)
@amberpep

Like you, I am Bipolar 2, and have no one to talk about it with except for this group and my therapist & psychiatrist for meds. Trying to get it across to my 3 adult kids, I sent the website from Mayo to them to read, hoping they'd start some conversation. They haven't. They really should know because at least part of it is genetic, but I guess they don't want to know. Sort of ostrich like.
Take care my friend,
abby

Jump to this post

Many people don't understand bipolar 2, family or not. Talking to those that have similar issues can be enlightening and satisfying. Keep reaching out to those people that do know and understand. Your adult children may come around but it requires patience and I for one don't have a lot of that........

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