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Is anyone here struggling with thanatophobia?
Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Sep 13 12:00pm | Replies (7)Comment receiving replies
@templar13 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. Being aware of this condition, also known to some as "death anxiety" is a big first step. You mention you had your first full-blown attack around age 19. Did something happen around that time that made you realize the mortality of all living things? I wonder if something like that was a triggering point for you. Sometimes losing a family member or someone close to us brings that moment of finality and makes us fearful.
Although it might sound counter-intuitive, looking into a death cafe, where people talk about death, may help remove the stigma you feel about it all. Is that something you could consider?
Ginger
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hello @gingerw ! thank you, for reaching out.
yes, thats correct, i was around 19. i can remember that day so clear- it was horrific ! it came out of the blue. i was reading, in my own flat, relaxt and all for a sudden i had this full blowen panic attack. but i thought i had a heart attack. i ended up calling the ambulance. they had to give me an injection, to de cramp me... i was so cramped up with fear , it was so so very scary... and that was the start of my live with thanatophobia- or death anxiety. it never has left me, it is part of my daily life... i never - thankfully- have experianced, or witnessed anyone having a heart attack , nor had anyone i do know had an attack... i dont know, where this heart attack comes from but it but it has overshadowed my life since then. to a daily extream... is such a complex condition , it is eating me up... it is like drowning... and trying in full panic to struggle upwards... out of this pulling down power, trying so desperately to come up for air- to breath...
the only thing i kind of have figured out is, that for me it has to do with love, loss and being entire out of controle to protect my loved ones and myself. i also think, that events in my childhood could have to do with it... i have tried a few therapist and i thought the last lady i did work with, could help but online sessions are not cheap, so i couldnt continue but even if it felt much better as anything i did try before, im not sure if it really would have made a difference... but i definitely would have continued with this young woman... she was really good...
i came across those death cafe, the problem- for me- is that talking or writing about these things can be good and even can feel freeing but most the time it makes things even worse... this is, why i have to be also careful with using this forums... i meantioned earlier on , in another note i wrote, how careful i must be in what i read aso my head, mind is constantly on full overdrive... is like a pinball machine... words, toughts, something on tv can put me into total meltdown... it is exhausting
thank you, for reaching out, ginger 🙂