@kordahl oh that’s another part of the story. My husband is always telling stories from his life before we were together. It’s the same stories he told me before we married. I thought i was getting to know him, but i keep hearing ths same for the last 50 years. It get’s very very old

@kordahl It's like I said in another post. I remember the few times my husband deflected, argued, and put it back on me. My adult son does it to me all the time, enough so, we don't talk much. Unfortunately, in a caregivers' situation, we don't have that option. When my husband gets ugly, I told him, ENOUGH, I'm going to bash your head in, again, not ladylike, not something you'd say, or recommend, but the tone of my voice, and how and the way I did it, the few times, seems to work for now. He shuts up, and doesn't go there.
Who knows, with this disease, tomorrow it will change. And you are correct, there's probably something in his childhood, where deflection, was always there. I notice it a lot where growing up the, children, now adults, may have come from a drinking household.
Best, karla

@kordahl it’s the selfishness coming through.