Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer

@leann @kathleenkin Thank you for posting the photos of your lovely dogs. I check into this discussion but have not posted in awhile and I was pleasantly surprised by the photos. Our companion animals are such a blessing. As soon as I sit down, one of the cats is on my lap and if we let the cats into the bedroom at night they would both sleep on or next to us (my partner says no animals in the bedroom).

I worry about recurrence or second cancers. I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer (endometrial adenocarcinoma FIGO Grade 1) in July, 2019) and went to Mayo Clinic in Rochester after I got the diagnosis from my local gynecologist. At Mayo, I had a radical hysterectomy with salpingo-oopherectomy and pathology after surgery showed that the adenocarcinoma was 1a with minimal invasion in the myometrium and no spread. So, I'm a cancer survivor. I'm due for my first 6 month follow-up in February, 2020 and I'll return to Mayo in Rochester for that appointment and all of my follow-up care.

I'm trying to think why I'm writing this now. Maybe it's the worry in the back of my mind that never completely leaves although is often suppressed in my day-to-day life. What else can I or any of us do but live with our lives that we share with our humans and companion animals? And some of us, like Marshall, get to share our gifts as therapy animals! And notice our blessings everyday.

Thank you @kathleenkin - I won't give up. I'm wired to fight this battle as it sounds like you are too! I admire your faith and resiliency with the physical effects and the unknown future. It must bring a sense of closure knowing your son and his wife know your wishes so now you can just live the day at hand. I agree, the hardest part is leaving those we love behind. I will try to find another time to talk with my husband. Right now, we're blessed. Although I have several side effects, they dont hamper my everyday living with a few adjustments and I "look" 😉 pretty healthy. Maybe he's just not ready for these conversations. Sometimes, I feel like I'm not either. But I'll continue to be open and honest. Maybe I need to just write it out and save it to get it off my chest. I SO appreciate your prayers for peace and joy without fear. My next CT scans are in Jan. and I know I tend to get a little anxious thinking life could change again on a dime. BUT, we've got today! I never want to trade the possibility of a wonderful day for worries about another!! Thank you so much and best wishes to you as well. We'll keep fighting the good fight!!

I am a stage 4 end of the life cancer survivor. I coach cancer patients and their families now, and that is how I met my fiance ( stage 4 breast cancer thriver). We talk about nobody has a guarantee of how long they will be on this planet. We get the most out of each day no matter what. Can you love, laugh, smile, cry and help others even while going through treatment? We know it's possible. We do it every day and thank God for every breath. Hugs and prayers to all of my people brought into this cancer world with us. You are not alone!!!

@hannahkeels

What a remarkable story about how you and your fiance met. What a great picture of the two of you!

I'm interested in knowing what led you to be a cancer coach. What type of background do you have to do this kind of work? Do you meet with support groups or talk with people one-on-one?

Since we're sharing pups...here is my Napa (on right) and our daughter's Stella on left from last evening. Both Lab rescues. Definitely bffs (best furry friends) for sure!

On the topic of life/marriage/getting on after the loss of our loved one, I can only relate my personal experience on this.

Before my wife was diagnosed we never discussed the topic of my marrying anyone else. We were married to each other, I coveted no other, and I had no desire to move on then. Similarly when she was ill I viewed our marriage the same way -- I treasured every day we had together and I had no interest or desire to end it prematurely by discussing what I should do about another marriage after my wife died. Nope. I was married and that was all I wanted to concentrate on -- the time we had left. I knew it would end too soon as it was and I viewed any conversation on another marriage as encroaching on the precious time we had left to focus on each other.

Just my view as a guy.

Please do write it down. At least you will have it. Stressing over tests and appointments is natural. Make it a day of celebration. After your appointment do something fun. Go to lunch. Buy something you have always wanted or do a random act of kindness. Go full force joy mode! Do not give one minute to cancer, it isn’t worthy of your time. Be blessed.

I know for a fact that my cancer will spread. It has already invaded my remaining lung. I don’t worry about it. I can’t change it. I know it’s going to happen. I just don’t know when it’s going to happen but that’s not going to prevent me from enjoying each and every day. Life is a precious gift. I’m not going to spend one minute of one day worrying about when it’s going to happen. Right now it’s a beautiful day outside. It’s foggy which makes all the Christmas lights beautiful. It will probably snow later on and I’m excited about that. Later on I’m gonna go make some cookies for my neighbors and take a walk with my dog. I have a very blessed life. God will take me home when the time is right. He has a timeline for everyone we can’t change that. The best thing we can do is to live each moment of our life and try to bless other people as well. God bless you and enjoy today.

@kathleenkin Love your strength and wisdom. God bless!

I like your thinking @kathleenkin - We have thought this way, but admit to dropping the ball lately. Time to pick up the celebrations. I really love your last line, I'm jotting that one down. "Do not give one minute to cancer, it isn't worthy of your time. Blessings to you as well and thank you for taking your time to help.