Addicted to looking up breast cancer related info, feeling anxious

@sdbonniea123
That’s the stage we all went through and this forum is a way to vent. Dump all your sh$& here 😀if that helps release your burdens. We are here to listen, no judgement. Hugs.

I am a 31 year breast cancer survivor. The anxiety you're experiencing is very much what I lived with after being diagnosed, then during and after treatment (surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and a complementary treatment!) For one year, cancer was the first thing I thought of when I woke up and, no surprise, the last thing I thought of when I went to bed! I read everything I could find, as the Internet was just emerging, and used Dr. Susan Love's book as a bible. My oncologists offered varied advice. One reminded me that I didn't have my mother's breast cancer (she had passed away at 62, 2 years prior to my diagnosis). Another told me: when you die of old age, you'll know the cancer didn't kill you. So far, so good! I'm heading to 75 in the spring. A group of cancer survivors in my very own town opened The Cancer Support Center about a year before my cancer fight began. I'd planned on being a volunteer! Ha! Life had other plans. It became a wonderful refuge where I joined a weekly support group only one week post surgery, AND took advantage of the tai chi, meditation and relaxation classes. The daily worries did not magically disappear, but the coping strategies and support did ease my fears. The support group members became close and dear friends. We joined walks for life, candle light vigils, wore the T-shirts and learned to celebrate each day. We shared laughter and tears. We understood for some that coping might require medication (think Xanax!). As time went by, some final good byes occurred. Painful. Sad. Heart wrenching. We had loved each other, had we ever. The strength, resilience and hope we shared carried us through the farewells that followed. To this day, my heart remembers those that cancer took. We each experience this diagnosis uniquely. Give yourself grace. And time. And find what best helps you personally. XOXO

@myoga that’s very kind. 🙏♥️🥹

Hi! @sosser :

What inspiring encouragement that your journey of fighting the disease of BC provides us all! Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us:)

Better journey ahead, my friends!

Now I said go live your life, but I read the Mayo connect every morning!
I think we want to know all that can be known so we have answers. But our questions cannot be answered by our doctors sometimes.
Cancer is cruel. It attacks our body cells and it messes with our minds.
Do as much research as you can. My point is after all your research, you don’t know much more about your longevity. Maybe you will survive. Maybe you won’t. Does it help to be reading about something you can’t control and losing those precious hours and days you could have spent with family, friends or whatever you did before cancer came into your life?
I am aware that cancer may return, but I also know I am living a good life in the meantime.
As for the heightened anxiety as you near the end of treatment - I found a lump on the other breast. It grew after the oncologist noted it. She ordered a mammogram where I asked the technician if this happens often, that women are more alert to new bumps and lumps. She said yes, but that is a good thing. It was just a fatty lump, but it sent me down that dark hole again where I had to give myself the pep talk about living life all over again.
We will never be free from the possibility. But be don’t have to be prisoners, either.

It's tough not to be a prisoner of all that cancer throws our way. Just when we decide to let some of the fears go, up pops another bump that needs a biopsy. My next ultrasound is in October , and I know they will say to get a biopsy (it's the only way to know for sure) and to also get a needle aspiration of a seroma. And who knows by October, what else they will find that needs attention. Pretty impossible to maintain a positive attitude, other than," I am positive the other shoe will drop. " Then, I get the comments about no no, you can't think that way, etc. My positivity exists in the world of needing to be realistic, not magical thinking. My older body no longer has the ability to fight off the bad cells and that is a fact not a fear. My docs know that I want them to lay it on me and not mince words. Currently two weeks out from total knee replacement surgery which means everything now is about ice and elevate. Leg pain doesn't allow doing much of anything else, like simply sitting in a chair long enough to eat or eat out or to do a nice walk in the Fall weather. So many things off the table for now. Yes I can read a book and make it to and from the bathroom in time. Yea!

@lifetraveler Thanks so much❣️