@loonylady
Loony you are not loony when it comes to back pain.
I started out with sciatica down right leg before I retired. Did the required PT had the epidural( kept me in bed for two days) then had 6 spinal surgeries in 18 months. I looked for answers all over, contacted people, joined forums etc. I had my L5 S1 fused twice. (The first one failed) My neck fused in 4 places( c6/7 failed and had to be redone) Thrown in 2 lamenectomies. A big mistake was letting the first surgeon talk me into have the neck and spine done in the same surgery.
I switched to a major university hospital in the area and their surgeons told me that they never would have done both surgeries at the same time.
Fast forward 7 years later and I can walk with some discomfort the back aches but I now tend to ignore it.
Bottom line if you have surgery it takes time to heal. I worried myself silky about the different things that were wrong that didn’t get corrected.
I take pregablin before bed to mitigate the nerve irritation caused by having to sleep on one side only. I take an SSRI to calm my thoughts. I’ve done all the things you mentioned.
In the end given the complexity of the spine and nerve circuitry, back issues are very vexing.
I wish you luck in whatever therapy you choose.
My most important message is don't let the pain and doubt beat you.
Stay patient, stay calm do whatever it takes to mitigate the pain levels as you proceed
B