@ldlauwers, that is a heavy burden to carry. As you try to be there for your daughter, you are exposed to blame and verbal abuse. She holds you on high alert with threats of self-harm or suicide. You would never forgive yourself if she were to start to self harm again and the guilt would be unimaginable if she were to attempt or be sucessful in suicide.

You're not alone. There are crisis lines and trained counsellors that can help YOU navigate these difficult waters. Crisis lines are not only for the person in danger, but also for the family and people supporting them. You can find different resources on our Crisis Helplines page here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/about-connect/tab/crisis-resources/

Here are a few things you should have at hand for when the need arises:
- 988 Crisis Line https://988lifeline.org/help-someone-else/
Call or text 988 if someone you know is struggling emotionally or having a hard time. You can be the difference in getting them the help they need. It’s important to take care of yourself when you are supporting someone through a difficult time, as this may bring up difficult emotions. If it does, please reach out for support yourself.

- NAMI https://www.nami.org/family-members-and-caregivers/
NAMI is the National Alliance on Mental Illness. There are many state and local chapters. They also have resources to help family and friends.

I'm not a therapist, so I won't give any advice except to say getting help for yourself is the first step to helping your daughter. With the guidance of a trained professional, you can discover ways to assert boundaries to not be the victim of abusive behavior and to know how you can respond to threats that keep both of you safe.