So much uncertainty: How do you manage it?

Posted by anosmic1 @anosmic1, Jul 23 10:23am

The biggest challenge of this journey for me has been the uncertainty. What will the next test show? Did the surgery succeed? Did the radiation get the rest of it? When is it coming back?

This week I got another side of the uncertainty. As I mark 2 years since my diagnosis and feel good about my progress, I heard that an old high school friend was diagnosed this spring and has already passed. I don't know what kind of cancer he had. Same thing happened to another friend about 12 years ago.

I don't feel bad about surviving when the others have not, but it raises the question of uncertainty again. Why am I surviving Gleason 9 and they're gone in a moment?

We'll never know. All we can do is push on.

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lsk1000 | @lsk1000 | Aug 8 7:11am

Personally, health uncertainties are experienced and addressed like other constant things in my life — I get used to them. I remember sitting in a chemo infusion room shortly after I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and a woman was talking about having to deal with two cancers. I commented that I couldn’t possibly handle a second cancer; I’d fall apart. Well, fast forward 10 years and here I am talking to you all about my second cancer and I haven’t fallen apart (perhaps I don’t fall apart because I’ve never fallen together. IDK?).

Though trivial, another example, the time I came back from a ski trip with a terrible flu I didn’t want to deal with putting my skis up in the attic. I left them against a wall in the living room and the longer they were there the less visible they became. I wasn’t bothered by them. It wasn’t until A few months later that they finally found their proper storage place.