Tonight, I’m afraid to go to sleep. I’ve been waking up with a panic attack, feeling smothered, like death is imminent. Peripheral neuropathy pain in my feet keeps waking me up. I have a BIPAP, using nasal pillows, which I am liking after more than 15 years with a full face mask, but I wake up with my mouth so dry I can’t swallow. I usually get back to sleep after an hour or so, out of sheer exhaustion. I think I might be getting the flu or something, with aching, diarrhea and no energy. Or it could be depression. I have a therapy appointment today. Well, back to the bathroom, and maybe then another stretch of sleep.