Loss of my husband...am I losing my mind? This is not who I am.

@fightingbluehen69, Thank you so much for your kind words, they are truly appreciated. However, I need to make one correction in my initial comments. We were not married for 72 years - we celebrated our 73rd anniversary just 8 days prior to Ann passing this year. Although I do talk to Ann every day (without expecting a response), and dream about her frequently, I don't believe we will ever meet again. Although I will join her in the military cemetary where we will both reside for however long that place will exist.

@fightingbluehen69 My wife passed away unexpectedly 18 months ago in her sleep, I was in total shock for weeks. I recently read something which stuck with me. When a loved one passes away, they have entered and gone down a path for us to follow at a later date and be with them again. The thought does calm me and for me that's important.

@fred1 how wonderful to see Ann in your dreams, and that you were able to celebrate that 83rd anniversary together 💞

The cat who made me cry uncontrollably for a few weeks after his death last autumn as his organs were failing one by one from old age and I had to become the one who would take him to have his life snuffed out of him and face him when brought back in soft brilliant white blanket so that I could say my the very last good-bye, shaken and sobbing, it has been his one partially closed eye that has etched into my memory as if he was saying," I thought we were friends?"

It was the next day -- the first day I was too exhausted to even realize what had happened. Standing by the counter preparing my food I have turned back to see if he was there about to mew for his treat. It's been then that I would become overtaken with grief, tears streaming facing there was no more of him.

It was then I looked up about pet grieving; I wondered what is normal way to miss one's pet. I was heartened to see grieving pet was Normal and healthy. It was maybe in the second week of his passing that I 'heard' him saying to me: "I've been Your Friend; it hurts me see you in so much pain."

I hear some may be saying: WHAT are YOU talking!! A loss of a spouse comparing to a pet's! Gimme a break!

What I AM trying to say: Now multiply that a Thousand times for one whom you spent decades with. That is how overpowering it can be.

So I ask of you, @ CeCe55, since you say you feel "desperately lonely" and I believe your spouse would Not want want you to be so lonely or hurt and sad so much, then maybe your spouse is telling you: You need to live Your Life as fully -- meaningfully, joyfully, purposely, healthily -- so that you get to live your days such that looking back you won't say: I disappointed not just my spouse but also myself of the life I could have had of far better value.