@jeanadair123
Easy to forget those things (bandage times). Thank you for the complement on my writing. I appreciate that I can express my thoughts and feelings through speaking and writing. It means a lot to me that I can help someone in any way.
I understand both sides of your story about the "Home". Just make sure you don't wait until you are to the point of "fear for your life". Unless you mean figuratively more than literally. From experience, and going back to an earlier comment I mentioned, you cannot wait until things are at their worst to make those important decisions. You will not make the best choice for them or yourself. You will make desperate reactions to stressful situations. Probably one of the most important bits of information or advice I could give someone in your position is this; Look into options for a home and come up with a definite plan of action, down to the detail. That doesn't limit you to, JUST, "a home". There are programs that help with in-home assistance that allow to choose how many days a week and for how long they stay each day as well as what they help you with. Most of the time they have people who can help with the costs for assistance as well. This way IF, God forbid, it comes to the point of going somewhere or making a drastic change for their lives, you are not making knee jerk emotional reactions but calculated responses that prove best for everyone in the long run. As bad as you may feel about thinking this way, remember that between the two of you, YOU are the only one that is expected to live through this. It may seem an uncaring way to think, but if you don't keep that in mind, when that unfortunate day comes where your family member no longer "needs care", you will be LOST and full of questions or possibly guilt. Guilt and/or questions about if you "did the right thing" or "did what is best for them". I know that this life is a life you chose because of the LOVE you have for them, but they love you too and don't want you to lose everything "because of them".
I know my words may seem harsh. They are partially meant that way in that I want to get your attention. It is VERY important for you and your loved one, EQUALLY, that you have a plan for that time before that time comes. The more decisions that are able to be made in a calm manner, at a lucid time and with everyone involved in their care, the better the outcome will be for everyone. You thinking this way is NOT doing them a disservice, in fact, it is right in line with the love you show every day. Again, taking care of yourself is the best care you can give THEM. Have a wonderful day! TTYS.