@jeanadair123,
I am so glad my words helped. I know everyone says the same thing, "You're not alone.". As true as that statement is, and you are NOT alone in this, people like us who make the choice to care for our loved ones often cannot help but feel alone in their efforts. We feel this way for individual reasons that are specific to your situation and circumstances but mainly the emotions that we feel, as we go through the journey of caring for our elderly family members, are so vast and different that we feel as if anyone NOT in our specific position could ever understand. This feeling of dealing with specific personality traits both of yourself and the family member you are caring for gives you, as the caregiver, the misinterpretation that no one can understand your struggle. You are RIGHT! No one can understand your specific feelings any more than you can understand your elderly family member's feelings and actions at times. One of the key thoughts I had to make sure to maintain constantly is that "I cannot do this alone and that is OK!". I found that if I stopped looking to others to take over my position and, instead, looking to people for what they CAN DO effectively to help.
I had a bad habit of turning away help because I knew that my family member, in my case it was my grandmother more so than my grandfather, only wanted ME to be the one. No matter how mean they seemed to be at times they only wanted ME. If you can sit down and write out what your average day looks like, you may be able to delegate some responsibilities or actions possibly giving you a few more moments to keep your psyche intact. This sometimes helps if you have people around you that don't want to do it all but do want to help. Delegating also helps with family relationships in that it defines peoples' responsibilities so that you can more accurately set your expectations and have less friction between everyone that "thinks" they are helping.
When it all gets down to the point you have to remember that you are only capable of taking care of yourself. If you cannot take care of yourself, you are not helping anyone else. If you feel that you are getting to the point where you are personally suffering more than you are helping, maybe it's time to look for some outside help that is more directed to meeting your expectations. Just remember that you are DEFINATLY NOT ALONE in this community. There are millions of people out here like us, all with a slightly different story surrounding the same big picture. You never know what experience of another may be pertinent to your situation. Keep reaching out. Write your story. Doesn't have to be publicly or even on a computer. Handwrite your thoughts and learn a few breathing techniques for calming your thoughts. You will be amazed how much just taking a few moments to breathe and concentrate on your thoughts may help. I am praying for, thinking of, and will be looking out for you. Stay strong! The fact that you are even considering much less doing what you do for your loved ones makes you an AMAZING PERSON! Take care of you!