@happytoseeyou
You are such a trooper and I commend you on your positive attitude after having insomnia your whole life! I initially took .125 to .25 mg Xanax daily on and off for about 2 years but then started getting rebound anxiety and depression the next day and finally figured out my body had gotten used to the benzodiazepine and wanted more but I did not want to increase the dosage so I discontinued it. I never tried Ativan. It also helped to come to terms mentally with the insomnia and stop fighting so hard against it if that makes sense. I tried to accept it and kept telling myself that I had made it this far and to focus on the good days and the body’s amazing resilience and innate ability to heal. I was set to ask the psychiatrist recently whether she knew if 22.5 mg or 3.75 mg of Mirtazapine (opposite ends of 7.5 and 15 mg I had already tried) would still have such a profound side effect for me but she recommended Ramelteon instead. It’s a genetic mystery how some people can take high doses of certain drugs without side effects and then people like me are so sensitive. Mirtazapine works very fast so be in bed when you take it! Good luck and let us know how it works for you.