@sandylakes and all... Thank you so much for the suggestions. You are right on target, but learned this sooner than I it seems. After moving to Jacksonville to live with me for a year and search for the best medical help with me giving him the physical support he needed at the time, he began to see some ability to care for himself and as a very independent man of 36-37 having been on his own for years with his own law practice, etc., it was extremely important for him to have independence. Not live with his mother! And, I needed independence as well. It was tough living together, but necessary then.

I live in a condo. The owner of the condo across the street died and he purchased it at a wonderful price and moved in to live across from me. We can an do walk across the parking lot to visit, have dinner together and watch a movie or something, spend good time together. We are both independent souls, but we also need each other to survive now, so this is an excellent solution.

I am learning daily to better listen, hear what he says and let him chat. It's getting tough. We used to enjoy discussing real issues of the world, the day, history, etc. Now, his life is so limited, I'm hearing the same issues discussed for weeks. He gets on a subject that's important to him and stays there for quite a while... so, even though my caregiving self has burned out several times, as if I become empty inside and have nothing to give... I do listen as he chats, repeats himself, and speaks in paragraphs, not sentences anymore. Best is I let him talk and say very little, as he doesn't understand my comments often now and thinks I'm arguing. I'm not, so it's best to be quiet.

I am seeing such cognitive changes now after 25 years of heavy medications, constant 24/7 electrical nerve charges, with muscle spasms and loss of body control...Dilaudid in his pain pump, other oral meds, doing a job on this brilliant man's brain. His executive functions are less apparent. I am his assistant, overseer, handle his medications - ordering, having delivered, filling weekly pill bins for him, keeping him on track with bills, etc. So, I enjoy most of that now, but am truly tired. My body is giving out in so many ways. But, now I'm working on how to transfer some of these duties to someone, a real struggle.

I'm beginning a new treatment for PMR which has it's nasty grip on me for the moment, so hopefully will be around a bit longer and even in improved health I pray. Must set these things up, though, so he has continued help.

Different from your situation as my son had a very active, productive life for the first 35 years. Then, it disappeared. So, transitions... Blessings, Elizabeth