Hello Sally 12345,
At times it is true during self introspection that one may feel "useless" as you say; this is a realization for us all however it should not define our contributions we have made: For ourselves or with others along our journey. I'm 81 and have hopefully shed my last tear over my inabilities: Throughout my lifetime I contributed my best to our country, served another country throughout the 80's and during my sojourns in and out of all those experiences, my physical abilities were a blessing. Now I have poor ambulation but can ramble around quickly if I need to and my strength and daily fortitude are thriving with renewed anticipation. We get what we give: My wonderful Gal of 35 years together supports any effort I put forth, kicks me in the pants when I slide down that slope of self pity and encourages me back into the stream of life.
Your writing shares a bit of yourself and your efforts along your journey and I am fairly certain that, like all of us, have done some good and done some bad. All that is behind us now and each and every day we have renewed opportunities to contribute all along the way. And, your writing also has reaffirmed my dedication to on giving to others anytime and anything that we are able to share. Thank you for helping me to realize that each morning we awake, we have another day to offer ourselves to others in kindness and understanding and acceptance.
Hang in their and count your blessings. Jo free