Much earlier in this thread of chat there are comments which are helpful.
Mine was Carl Jung: There are no unforgivable "mistakes" in life. It's all Anschlag - attack. You guess. You you try. You learn. You take your best shot. How could you know in advance how it was going to turn out? Monday morning quarterbacking? It's not failure. It's life. At some point, what has always been Reality breaks through and destroys our fantasies. It's painful, but in a way, a gift saying come down to Earth. As Daniel says in Defending Your Life, "I did the best I could."
Introduction to Room With a View, Ashley Montague says, "Life is your violin solo performance at Carnegie Hall, and the first time you get the violin is when you walk out on stage."
If you condemn yourself, there isn't enough Forgiveness to make it ok. Alan Watts says NO ONE gets a leg up on the Universe.
Please have fun , and don't live out the rest in regret. You did the best you could. Hugs🫂