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@brandysparks
Hi, I hate to go beyond her doctor's professional opinion not to get checked for a UTI, however they are so very common in the elderly, especially ones with dementia.
When she's in a good mood can you cajole her to pee in a clean cup with a lid, then you go to urgent care, maybe stating it's for you but you want her along for support, then offer the sample once there? I'm trying to think of a work-around for you.
Maybe you can put some sort of urine catcher cup device in the toilet bowl when she's urinating so you can more easily get the sample?
UTI's are such bad news for folks with dementia. My mom who had Alzheimers used to get them frequently. One time she was speaking in tongues, nothing coming out of her mouth made sense. After a trip to the emergency room it was indeed a UTI.
Good luck to you!
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@judimahoney - Your wonderful, practical solutions offered are appreciated more than you can know.
I don't know that this is possible to actually carry out under our circumstances, but - again - after dealing with rude, rushed staff and extensive miscommunications with personal care staff (if they communicate at all) - your practical, reasonable, "get-to-it" suggestion/s are so warmly appreciated - like an understanding hug!
I did have experience when my father was in the hospital recovering from his 10th (!?!) procedure to clean out his infected 8" spinal surgical wound that neurology did to insert a metal rod to support his bad back...but then neurology was so happy with their successful surgery, the rest was left to him, some hospital staff and us to deal with as he kept getting reinfected IN THE HOSPITAL. Apologies - I digress a bit...
But, he started wondering where he was, he couldn't talk much, he did NOT have cognitive issues, but this so scared me when I was visiting him that I had to wrangle hospital staff to attend to him or I was afraid he was having a stroke or lord only knows what was going on. It WAS a UTI. OMG.
We are expected to fill in the gaps, yet the medical professionals, as talented and capable as many are, leave a whole universe to be desired as far as attentive care, maintenance and appropriate follow-up. In my current state of mind (hugely frustrated, my questions talked over, impatient nurses not helpful, repeating information already known, but then asking "what medications ARE being given to your mother - ack?! What the ??) - in my current state of mind, I am sooooo tired of being asked questions that they should have the answers to right in front of them before they contact me, or any of us?
As an attorney, if I spoke so off-the-cuff about critical issues to a client on a repeated basis, like I didn't know what their case was about, I'd be subject to some darn unhappy clients, and a poor reputation as a professional. But I don't do that, and neither should these medical personnel, and if they DO, it should have professional consequences.
I'll leave it all at that for now. But I am fairly certain I am not alone in this kind of disjointed, uninformed and casually-treated serious medical situation.
My best to all of us out there trying, and trying, and trying...