I know this fear and this pain so well! I'm so sorry you guys are walking through this! Tues I will be 9 months post op. I turned 60 this year and prior to surgery the pain was getting the best of me. I could not walk more than a mile without having to stop. Standing for lengths of time was getting difficult. Sitting for any length of time and I could not sit still. Sleeping through the night had not happened for a couple of years~. Chronic pain was the constant. It was eating away my life. So surgery was the option I chose after trying every other conservative treatment. I knew it was going to be a doozy, but I didn't plan for a year of recovery. Get that through your mind that you are going to be recovering for a full year. That means put off any plans that you are going to rush through this, or pass Go and collect $200 before a year is up. I know we all read about the people returning to their pre-surgery routines of lifting, running, dancing, climbing mountains, etc. - those are nice and wonderful to think of, but I think that ended up sabotaging my need to rest, recover and plan for the light recovery my body needed. I pressed too hard too soon and that is not what my body needed. Strengthen lightly, walk conservatively, and protect the fusion at all costs. Switching to this plan has felt better mind, body, and spirit. This is going to be a long year. Get through your brain and allow for it to be a year of healing. 365 days of you caring for yourself in such a way that you heal in ways you had not imagined. My surgeon was wonderful, but did not convey this idea to me. I wish he had. I wish the mental aspect of this process would have been tended to as much as the fusion part. Or even the pain part. This is the area I would stress more. All that to say, if you move forward with the surgery, prepare your mind for a year of recovery. This surgery is a mind, body and spirit experience. Wish you all the best.