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Alcohol is my vice too many evenings. I want to stop.
Addiction & Recovery | Last Active: 26 minutes ago | Replies (17)Comment receiving replies
@diverdown1 The statement that "its on" if any amount of alcohol gets into your bloodstream, is one of many reasons I avoid A.A. The belief you wont stop until you are half dead or desperate is the belief that feeds your dependency on A.A. This dependency is what's known as external locus of control. You have convinced yourself, that without A.A., you are at risk of swallowing a drink of alcohol. And once swallowed, you are powerless over your own destiny. A slave to the demon alcohol. That wasnt the path for me Diver Down. That switch called choice you spoke of. You can develop it. Strengthen it. You can make it yours again. Imagine that. Having the power to choose. The ability to say no. A.A. isnt for me. Living in fear just isnt a way to live. No. The 12 steps is not a great way to live for people like me.
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@trooperdogg1960 I completely respect your view, choices, and I am grateful you stopped destroying yourself. I understand the concept and meaning of external locus of control. I have a belief in a spiritual power. It has always been there. I am not dependent on AA, I do however utilize the connection to other people like me whether they are in AA, or just people like you. I am positive that I am not going to drink today. That is ME. That is no one or nothing else. I think that because I mention AA and the principles, which, by the way, are found many other places for millennia, I have somehow led you to believe that AA is my life. It is not. I did stumble into AA several times, 1984, 1990 and so on...I knew of nothing else to help me. I am dealing with Long COVID, which is essentially a disability. I am no longer able to go to many meetings. I still converse with friends I made in AA, so I just wanted to clarify that. Also, for me, if I drink, I know I am powerless over myself. I have proved it over and over and over since the age of 14. I have not convinced myself that AA has anything to do with that. That is my mind and body. I also do have the power to choose, every minute of everyday. That has nothing to do with AA. That is me, my strength and a strength that I have gotten from my beliefs in the connection of everything that is in the Universe. I am not a Big Book Beater, or Old Timer or any of those things. I do, however, believe that AA taught me, an alcoholic of almost 34 years how to grow up, live in this crazy world, accept that I usually have no power over anyone or anything except my own reactions and found some friends that didn't drink and use drugs. I say, if AA works for someone, that is great...it may save their life. If standing on your head in a corner works, do it. Whatever works for a person drinking themselves to death, I say go for it. I am clarifying my words as I felt after your post, that I needed to do that. I am grateful that you put down the vodka. I drank it hot as well. I didn't care about anything except getting drunk (except I did care, deep down, somewhere or I would not be typing this). I am glad you found a path that works. Stay on it and helping others to quit is powerful.