@colleenyoung
Hi Colleen,

Thank you for checking on me. My grief therapist at Hospice gave me homework to do since my last visit two weeks ago. One request was to involve myself in something, so today was my first day of painting class. I really didn't want to go but I went out and purchased supplies and went to class. I actually had a good time and made several new friends. I am looking forward to next Monday. I even laughed several times.

She also asked me to invite a friend to do something so this Thursday I am going out to lunch and to the art museum.

I have to say this has not been easy. I have been reluctant to do any of this and had a weekend of isolating and watching television in the dark. This is the beginning of the fourth month and I feel like grief is not an uphill healing. This month has been the hardest as my brain and heart are having a hard time accepting that my life as I know it has ended or changed. I will never see my husband as I have known him again in this life. I still talk to him and ask his advice and feel his presence all around me. I also found that my circle of support has shrunk and people are just going on with their lives, checking on me but not actively helping me anymore. I guess this is as it should be. I am a grown woman and should be able to figure out my problems and move forward.

So..I have done what the therapist has asked me to do, and also have griefshare in the future months to go to.

I am desperately lonely and realize that only I can fix that. I am doing what I can right now, realizing it has only been a little over 3 months.

Thank you for looking in on me.
Blessings to everyone who is walking this path.
CeCe55