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No, you are not alone. I’m tired of the duplicitous behavior and talk and it is always about the siblings not in the room. Such is the dynamics of my dysfunctional family my whole life , only now, this disease has amplified my mother’s foibles, mainly her critical hurtful comments, and looking down on other human beings. I’m considering memory care facilities because I’m wasting away as her sole caregiver.
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@michelamio: so sorry to hear of the treatment you are enduring from your Mother with dementia. I can relate due to my aged Mother’s superior, judgemental attitude and treatment of aides, nurses, family, caregivers, neighbors, etc. - it was hurtful to others and completely unnecessary!
You have a decision to make. My experience was similar, although I was not the conservator with final approval. I voted family had done enough (rarely pleasing her) and it was time for a nursing home. Do your research & decide on the best place with availability to family members to visit whenever. The costs look prohibitive but after her savings is exhausted hopefully MediCal (CA welfare) will take over. She may have to reassess her NEEDS vs. her WANTS due to the services provided, but she will be safe, cared for, and be under medical care 24/7.
You and your family have life to live - however you choose. We aren’t getting any younger and these retirement years are precious to each of us. You deserve to retire from caregiving.
Just my 2cents…. Bette
@michelamio my mother follows same pattern! It’s exhausting. Just know that you’re not alone.
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@michelamio I will pass on a suggestion my stepdad gave me: Ask yourself if this is what you want your life to be for the next twenty years. Alternatively, ask yourself “What do I want to do with the next twenty years of my life?”.
That was a bell ringing moment for me, looking at it that way.
Taking care of myself does not mean I can’t help others WITHIN MY OWN HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.