How has ADT affected your enthusiasm & motivation for life?

I don't have an answer to your specific question because my PCa treatment did not require ADT. But I know that PCa has changed me and thus has change my relationship with my spouse. Many other things over the decades have change both of us in ways big and small, in ways good and bad and thus have changed our relationship. Maybe the relationship is better in some ways and maybe worse in others. But we are in it together for the long haul (42 year and counting) and my relationship is the most precious thing in my life. Sorry for responding but not answering your question. I do wish you and your spouse the best on your journey!

@jeff1963 Thanks for responding. I think I just needed to type out my feelings tonight. My husband has always said I am his everything, and I'm very lucky and grateful. Sometimes my heart simply feels heavy with worry. I relate to your explanations, and your response is comforting. And 42 years is impressive and wonderful - cheers to life partners!

I'm also 61. I've been on ADT for close to five years. Almost every morning I wake up excited to start another day (and grateful that I'm actually here to see it).

I had a lot of mood swings my first year on ADT, but then things stabilised. I'm definitely different since my 2021 stage 4 prostate cancer diagnosis, but at the core, I'm still me, and still deeply in love with my partner of 39 years, who had my back through some pretty difficult stuff.

I am wife of high risk patient and my husband is on the same 2 drugs.

He is 70 years old and I did not notice any changes in him (so far, he is about 2 months on Orgovyx and about a month of Nubeqa). He does not even have hot flashes 🧿, &knock the wood. He still works full time and also has some "gigs" on the side and his job is keeping him very active and engaged. I did not notice any changes in energy level either and he is exercising every day too.

He does not like to think about cancer in general, so I think it is very helpful. I often ask him how is he doing and he always looks at me with surprise and says ; "I feel great - why ??? What did you read now ?" 😋 Like I maybe read something and am now checking if he is OK lol , he is so funny in that way lol.

Saying all of that, it is a well known fact that ADT effects mood and energy level and it can go from "no effect" to "major depression" effect and all levels in between. It seems that your husband is really very little effected , so little that only you can sense those subtle changes and maybe it could be of comfort to you 💗. Maybe the fact that he has aggressive cancer and that he has to deal with all this is effecting his mood more than ADT ? : ((( It is really much to deal with even without ADT : (((. I am not on ADT but I definitely changed since my husband was diagnosed 🥺. I am more subdued, have zero patience with people outside my immediate family, nothing is "like before" in my mind and my energy level is much less since so much energy goes to dealing with emotions of all kinds .

I am 74, single been on ADT for 1 yr. This is what it has done to me: I am not as confident, I am afraid to travel now..I dont have hardly any interst in sex-in fact I somehow feel betrayed by sex. I have gained 18 pounds ( some is muscle because I lift wts and work out more-I now weigh 235 when pre PC era I weight 215-220)...I dont necessarily feel sad but I do feel my life is on hold. I have hot flashes regulalry and dont sleep as well ---oh fatigue..lots of fatigue.....plus deep fear of recurrence and having to fight this for the rest of my life. Prostate cancer and all the treatment wounds psychologically and physically. But I carry on and grateful there are treatment options and now have a much more profound sympathy for people with cancer...I lost twin sister to cancer, Older sister and my dad..so I have seen it but now it ( cancer) is an intimate part of me. I have Gleason 8 N1..one more yr of ADt..and every 3 months PSA worry but so far I am <.02...otherwise doing ok.

@xahnegrey40 I'm sorry about the feeling that your life is on hold. 🙁

I honestly don't know how I'd cope with this cancer if I lived by myself. You're probably doing **much** better than I would: I might have just climbed right up inside my head and stayed there.

In my case, I feel like life is going on like a toboggan down an icy hill, whether I feel like pausing or not, so I might as well hold on for the ride and try to keep up with all the changes in my spouse's, kids', bonus kids', and now, grandkid's lives.

Could I use a break sometimes? Absolutely — the pace is exhausting. But it does keep me engaged with life at a time when it would have been very easy just to give up.

There must be a happy median somewhere between our two situations.

I have been on ADT for about fourteen months now and, while I have not noticed any significant morphological changes - I don’t experience hot flashes or overwhelming fatigue - my partner of twelve years tells me that I have “changed” and not in a good way. I am a bit more caustic now and short-tempered and my ability to focus has diminished as I seem unable to prioritize life tasks.
At her urging, I sought help from a psychiatrist but even that didn’t prevent us from separating for two weeks in early June (we have since reconciled). Some of my malaise was due to my loss of athletic prowess. I am a short track ice speed skater who also races bicycles during the off season and, at sixty-eight, it appeared that I would need to re-evaluate my public persona due to my inability to perform at the high level to which I was accustomed.
Libido? I still have the interest and desire - I have always enjoyed the company of women, perhaps to excess because, even while on ADT, the attention of other women led to our brief separation. Previously I might have drawn a firm boundary between me and the other women but I had become insecure about my sexuality and, although I didn’t have an affair, I didn’t discourage the attention which, understandably, infuriated my partner.
Therapy has helped us overcome this rough patch plus, through some miracle I still don’t understand, I have regained my cycling ability and competed in an international endurance race on June 13th where I finished 407 out of 788 - which is good for a senior citizen.