I’m so sorry that this happened to you and your granddaughter! It must have been so upsetting for both of you, I haven’t had this same circumstance, however my grandchildren are often visiting and I have had situations where my husband’s lack of executive function, lack of impulse control and absent empathy has caused me concern about how he is interacting with the children. It is definitely a worry for me - I feel like I never know when he might say something from mildly odd to wildly inappropriate. My husband is extremely sedentary now, so is less likely to engage in any physical activity such as in your story, but I feel like I can still relate.
I have talked with the grandkids and given them an age-appropriate explanation for Papa’s illness.
“Papa has an illness that makes his brain work differently. His brain is like a radio that sometimes has a fuzzy signal. Some days it’s clear, and some days it’s harder for him to think, talk, remember things, understand or move his body. If he forgets something or says or does something that doesn’t make sense, or seems crazy, you don’t have to argue. You can just smile and change the subject or ask a grown-up for help.”
I also try not to leave them alone with him, which isn’t hard since he shadows me continuously. I also try to have the grandkids come and visit in the afternoon while he is taking his daily 3 hour nap. While this decreases their time together, it makes it less worrisome for me, and he doesn’t really miss the time with them (or appreciate it when he does have time with them as far as I can see).
It’s definitely a tough situation and I don’t really want to isolate my husband from the kids but I also don’t want to risk him getting out of hand and causing the kids upset if I can avoid it. It’s so much work to try to manage all of this!
Blessings! ❤️