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@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we're talking broken bones stuff). I also was sexually assaulted as a young adult by a stranger. I decided to not let my abuse or past define me. I am a SURVIVOR. I do not need to give my abusers the power to continue to hurt me through flashbacks and triggers. They certainly aren't thinking on it any longer! A huge part of my childhood was taken - they WILL not take the rest of my life. It is MY choice. I am so very sorry you were not helped with therapy. There are some bad therapists out there, but there are many good ones. I am on medication for depression and find it really helps me. I know there are members in my own family who refuse to believe they have a mental illness (two are bi-polar and one is schizophrenic) and they "self" medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. It is so sad, as they are only making their life worse. There is no shame in having a mental illness. It is like any other illness. Your brain is an organ. If you had a brain tumor, you would get it looked at and fixed. But why people have a hard time with brain chemistry being out of balance and causing an illness (just like insulin in diabetes) is beyond me. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is help out there for everyone. Even if it is self education through books. The thing is, you must do all the hard work. Ignore what doesn't work for you and really practice what does. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless (sounds like depression to me - been there, done that many times!). There are even some studies which show brain chemistry is forever altered in children who have been through continuous situations of abuse and extreme stress. But this does NOT mean you can't live a good life. You don't have to be a product of your past. YOU decide who you want to be mentally and daily work to accomplish that goal. I am by no means saying it is easy. It is HARD, emotional work. It has taken me years (and, yes, medication). But I am so much better than I used to be. I, personally, also find my strength in God. I truly feel He has given me the strength and wisdom to move forward. I no longer hate my abusers. I certainly don't want to have lunch with them, but I can cast them aside in my mind with no anger when they pop up. So much is about changing the negative self talk, about replacing a negative emotion with a positive one. I will be praying for you. I know the road is long, but once you start putting one foot in front of the other and stop thinking about how far you have to go, you will see improvement.
Replies to "@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we're..."
@peach414144 That is an incredibly beautiful story - thanks for sharing your heart with us!
Teresa
@ Wow, Peach. You did a wonderful thing for your mother! Despite all you went through, you still had kindness and compassion for her. I, too, do not understand how your sisters could beat her! That is not justice, that is revenge - which is, in my opinion, so wrong. Now, on the other hand, ignoring her or having nothing to do with her is one thing. However, beating her makes them just like her! God bless you for your huge heart, Peach. What a wonderful person you are!
dear blindeyepug,they (my sisters) were taught well.
dear blindeyepug, when reading this latest reply of yours, yes. my story is very similar to yours. my family is also mentally and criminally ill. why cannot the existing bodies of law and the courts address these issues? to me it is basically MONEY AND NOT ADDRESSING ANY AND ALL OF THE ISSUES. where and what are the guidelines? there are too many cases to be heard in the courts, not enough (decent) places to house the abused or to incarcerate the guilty. AGAIN, THERE IS VERY INADEQUATE MONIES ALLOCATED TO HELP THE MENTALLY ILL AND THEIR VICTIMS. WHAT IS THE GOVERNMENT DOING ABOUT THIS? this is our beloved country, AMERICA. do we realize how long this has been going on? FOREVER! much of this creates more mentally ill and so it continues on and on forever. it keeps the jails and prisons full and the physically and mentally disabled suffering and in need of help. . it is not the child's fault to suffer and/or turn into an unacceptable person. SO; HOW CAN WE WORK WITH THE RESPONSIBLE HUMANS IN CHARGE OF THIS? OR, ARE THERE NO RESPONSIBLE AGENCIES SET UP FOR THESE VERY IMPORTANT ISSUES? WHERE IS THE CONSCIENCE OF THOSE IN CHARGE? THIS IS A PLEA FOR HELP.
Too bad the medical system and insurance cos. don't recognize the brain as an organ of the body and pay for therapy and Rxs like they do for diabetes...too many people, especially seniors, can't afford everything and give up or, if symptoms are bad enough commit suicide! Should I buy food or medicine?
@parus That was well said and so encouraging to me! God Bless you for being able to love others as you do! Amen
Thank you for sharing. Your story sounds just like mine! I too made the choice to not let my sister define me. I have times of self pity but I pull myself out of it. We are survivors! We must move on and never look back!
Blindeyepug, I totally agree with your insite and self help. From one survivor to another, I am very concerned about your being stalked by this therapist. I am sure you have tried to stop this madness. Would you please give us an update on that situation? thanks
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this is peach again. i forgot: yes i do have ptsd.