Do most people really want to know how you're Really doing?

OK, I'm doing it again. Thought Hans brought up some good points about how most people who know you have cancer actually don't really want to know how you're doing...they want the heroic answer that makes them feel better.

He has some retorts to the question that probably do trigger people. It reminds me of my son-in-law, who when people asked how he was doing, would say with great intensely, "Great!" The catch was that you didn't know if he meant great in a positive way or meant it sarcastically. It would definitely would stop you for a second.

Anyway....another link to Hans column and a graph from it....

“The truth, I have come to believe, is that much of illness in modern society is performative. We have collectively agreed that sick people should remain inspirational because actual suffering makes everybody terribly uncomfortable. Nobody wants honest illness. People claim they admire bravery, but what they really admire is tidy suffering, suffering that smiles politely, expresses gratitude, posts optimistic updates on social media, and generally avoids introducing unpleasant realism into brunch conversations.”

The Curious Performance of Being Fine
https://open.substack.com/pub/nutmegphantasy/p/the-curious-performance-of-being-dbf