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@dmash3 Hi Dina,
I feel for you. It’s only my sister and myself caregiving. Mother is 95 and going strong physically.
I try my best to remember it’s a chapter of life and not forever. I’m also learning to “forgive and forget” so I can keep my inner peace and learn to be more compassionate. A lot of her selfish behaviors are the disease, but some are definitely an extension of who she’s always been.
I hope to come out of this strong enough to forge another chapter in my own life. The unknowns make it so hard - how long will this continue?… Being over 60 myself, how can I keep it together and start over after this ends? I try to take it day to day with no or low expectations.
I wish you strength, peace and acceptance. I find “acceptance” and “reframing” very helpful. Even in the most trying scenarios there are lessons and opportunities to be gained. I’m writing a vampire story inspired by this experience with dementia- it’s def a soul sucking disease for all involved! 🤗❤️
Replies to "@dmash3 Hi Dina, I feel for you. It’s only my sister and myself caregiving. Mother is..."
@gratia
Hello:
In response to your query, how can you keep it together and start over when this ends?
I can only speak from my sister's point of view who lost her husband to cancer in her early 60s.
She went through stages after my brother-in-law passed, just like we are. There was the expected sadness, and tons of crying; she does retail therapy and has been buying things she probably doesn't need (but it makes her feel good).
She took a lover to combat loneliness and started getting out and enjoying her life again. She got two cats and enjoys spoiling them. She's traveled overseas and domestically several times. She lavishes attention on her garden and has created a visual paradise. She writes about her feelings and blogs.
Anyway, my sister has just carried on, recreating herself in her new, single life and is still sad, but carries on.
I try to imagine what life will be like on the flip side, but there are so many unknowns I need a crystal ball.
Something that was said in a grief class I took, is that we are all becoming new people. The way we respond to our loved ones, and how we manage has changed us.
What shall we become today?
Hugs all around. ☺️
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@gratia thank you for thoughtful reply and sympathy. I will keep you and your sister and your Mom in my prayers. We will forgive and forget and pray for strength. 🙏🏻😊