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Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness
Chronic Pain | Last Active: Apr 5, 2022 | Replies (192)Comment receiving replies
Yes, I do believe the congregation will manage w/o a pianist. The neuropathy thing? As to why I have it still is a mystery. Combination of inappropriate meds and stress. My nervous system lies to my brain most of the time (well stated @jimhd ). This morning I feel like I am covered in cobwebs and cannot get rid of them. No spiders, but many of their webs.
No need to apologize for a poor memory. I keep hearing about short term memory loss to the point I told another that it makes perfectly good sense as I am 66 and the knowledge head is so crammed full that nothing new will fit.
The why of neuropathy, even if known, does not help with the discomfort and pain. All meds for this vicious villain were a disaster. At one of those lows where I do not have much enthusiasm left. Not a so much a self pity as the never ending battle with acceptance. At times I find myself thinking, "I am not Job"! An extreme thought.
Sleep last night was the usual...Do you notice the neuropathy less when you are moving? There are times that if I am not moving the tingling pain seems that it will cause me to lose my mind...Apologize if that statement sounds outlandish. It is true and possibly the mind will one day rest.
Seems many of us are discouraged-we keep moving on as best we can.
Life can at times be a defecation receptacle and it is a struggle to continue looking "up".
Think you could bottle and share the truth serum???
Hope you rested well...A Capella worked for centuries.
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@parus - not at all outlandish. It's kind of the opposite of me. My feet eventually hurt less as they rest. Walking is the worst - well, the worst except for standing still. Even sitting, my feet hurt if I rest them on the floor. Contact hurts.
Pain definitely interacts with emotions. Sometimes pain causes emotion. In my case, I was being treated for major depressive disorder, along with a few other disorders, before neuropathy pain started, and as the pain progressed, the disorders grew worse, leading me to start thinking about suicide. Fortunately, I was able to begin therapy during that time, and am now in a much safer place.
I'm pretty sure that depression et al exacerbates pain, as well.
I felt myself today and went to church, which is an all day routine. Leave home at 9:40 am, church at 10:30. Lunch in town, usually fast food, but today we splurged at Shari's. Fabric store, fill up at the gas station, grocery store, humane society thrift store, Goodwill and after a couple of hours of dog walking and rest at a park, picked up things at Walmart, and back to church at 6, home after 8. That's our weekly Sunday. I'm always wasted when I get home. I often want to stay in bed, but Marilyn reminds me how much the music means to the people who gather on Sunday evening. So, I get up and do it all again. No, I never used to be like this. I served happily, for the most part, as a minister of music for 25 years, and later as a pastor. Sunday was part of my identity. I never wanted to stay in bed - until depression hit. Then, there were weeks when I had to call a minister to come and fill in for me. Two years later I was attempting suicide, and had to retire. I was only 55.
That's a piece of my life. And now I have to stop and get to bed.
Jim