Good morning @gratia

My opinion, (so take it for what it’s worth), is that anger is a normal part of the grief process, so yes, it’s okay to feel angry as we grieve the loss of the person, their health, our plans, our lives. What’s not okay is to get “stuck” there and not be able to move through the process. The tough part with this long term dementia situation is that it continues over time and it seems to me that there is always new “losses” to grieve, so anger can pop back up as the decline continues- even when I think I have moved past it! I suppose the degree of anger in relation to the situation or loss should be somewhat commensurate as well. Minor annoyance at having to help with simple tasks that my husband could to yesterday but struggles with today might be understandable, but if it puts me into an angry rage, that’s seems like I have moved into the “unhealthy” anger range.
I’m not sure if my thoughts are of any help but that’s what’s coming up for me these days!
Blessings