How do I live, when I have chronic pain in every part of my body ?

Posted by christinadv23 @christinadv23, 6 days ago

Hello, my name is Christina. I am 57 years old, married, 2 sons. At 24 I was diagnosed with an anular tear on my spine. I underwent a spinal fusion,I have metal rods, screws, a cage and more. The surgery was unsuccessful. After that I had years of injections, fusions, all types of therapies, and many surgical procedures i lost count, I also had a neuro stimulator. Nothing helped. My sons were 4 and 6 when I began w this pain and I can’t remember 1 day not being in pain since. I suffered through all their sports events, school functions, our vacations, their bday parties , holidays and more.
Ten years ago I was diagnosed with knee arthritis which is the most excruciating pain as well. Injection helped 1st time. After that I went to therapy, saw several drs, had different injections, nothing has helped.
Two years ago I began to feel over all body aches even my skin hurt to the touch. Diagnosis,,,fibromyalgia.. 😢. 1 year ago i began w numbness, burning, severe leg cramps, overall leg pain,,diagnosis…bulging disc.
I live hour by hour , day by day, I do not go anywhere due to my severe pain.
Back in the 90’s I was given all kinds of opioids for my back pain. Being so young and clueless of the dangers I took them and was pain free. Until I began needing more and more and realizing I was becoming dependent on them. Addicted actually. So I stopped. Withdrawals were HORRIBLE! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE..
Now I’m afraid to take any opioids at all. I hv tried prescription anti inflammatories, muscle relaxants, nerve pain med ( caused severe anxiety) and so many others.
I take medication for depression and anxiety due to this stressful life I live.
8 years ago I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Gland was removed. My tsh levels fluctuate making me feel worse.
I truly have a very limited quality of life.
I feel this is so long and I apologize. Theres just so much history and what saddens me is that I’m worse than I was 30 years ago and no Dr seems to be able to help me.
I cannot imagine living like this for 10, 20 more years. Everything I do is a struggle and so exhausting.
I feel I will only have peace and be pain free until the day I leave this earth. I am not suicidal. The love I have for the husband, sons and parents Is so much more stronger than my pain. And believe me the pain is EXTREMELY DEBILITATING. My LOVE…EVEN STRONGER.
How do I live like this? Is anyone out there going thru pain like me?
I hope I get a reply. I am beyond depressed, frustrated and dread the mornings knowing what my day will be like.
Thank you for reading this.
Christina from Texas

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ellerie54 | @ellerie54 | 4 hours ago

I am also living a life in chronic pain. I’ve had fibro for over 40 years now, I have bad degenerative disc disease. I have some trapped nerves in cervical, thoracic and lumbar spine. I have RFA in all three parts of my spine. There is an area in my lumbar spine, which cannot be treated with RFA. The only thing that would give me relief I am told is a steroid injection. But I can no longer have steroids because I developed cortisol insufficiency from all the steroids that I have gotten. I am now having to take hydrocortisone supplements because my adrenal glands produce so little cortisol. In addition, I suffer from immuno deficiency. I give myself antibody infusions weekly. My antibody dose needed to be doubled because I was staying sick after several courses of antibiotics. I basically feel like I live in a bubble so as not to get sick. The depression is very hard to take. I feel like I may have one day or two per month in which I have any energy and my body pain is low. I do not take opioids. I tried buprenorphine and it made me vomit as soon as I took it. All that is left to me is Flexeril and clonazepam. I had a stroke last year from which I recovered, but not all the way. My gait is impaired and my fine motor skills are very poor because of the DDD in my neck. I’m 72. I am not suicidal, but I feel like when the universe is ready to take me back I’m ready to go.

Keep going, Christina. Your children are young and still need you. New treatments may develop in the coming years from which you can benefit. It’s a mystery why some of us are overwhelmed with these physical challenges but there must be a reason that hopefully will be revealed to us in the afterlife.