As I do far too often here, I'm going long, but I want to offer a number of suggestions.

I went through a very deep depression that led to hospitalization following a near miss at taking my life. It proved to have been triggered by the antidepressant I was on (Effexor) , a rare but known complication. So definitely ask if any prescription you're on can possibly have this side effect. I was actually the one who discovered what was going on with online research, and since getting off the medication and switching to another one (Lamotrigine), have had essentially no serious depressive episodes for more than two years now, and the minor ones have passed quickly. A first for me, and I'm 62.

With online research, ONLY look to legitimate sources, NOT sites where some random person decided to attack doctors and the pharmaceutical industry. Those can be filled with disinformation, and thus detrimental. I found a peer reviewed paper on PubMed that described my symptoms and the potential for the medication to cause them, and subsequently after the medication switch found another study with the same findings on the British Medical Journal.

In the hospital I received a late middle aged bipolar 2 diagnosis, and given a lifetime of depression issues that fit the description perfectly, I believe it to be accurate. I'd never in my life gone a single year without several cycles of sometimes very deep depression, and in the three or four years prior to getting off Effexor was rapidly veering towards self-harm. So I know what it's like to feel so helpless. Again I want to stress, that's something that medication being the cause for the spiral is rare, so I'm not promising anything. But talk with your provider. If you're seeing a general practitioner, ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. They're far more aware of potential mental health medication complications than family doctors are.

Also, you don't mention if you're seeing a therapist, but that's been the other big piece of the recovery for me. And despite the successful medication switch, I'm still attending.

I did have a momentary suicidal thought while falling asleep one night last week, the first since changing meds. I sat up and said "NO! Not going back there," and it vanished, but I have no question that this was owing to the medication as much as any willpower. I immediately emailed my therapist, told my wife in the morning, and called my psychiatrist's office. At present both the doctor and therapist think, given how it emerged as I fell asleep and that I was able to chase it out without delay, that it was old patterned behavior from when I was in the pit, not an actual crisis. But we're all taking it seriously and monitoring to be sure.

So keep your provider, therapist if you're seeing one, and any trusted friends and/or family members updated. I have good friend who's my go to guy if anything goes awry and my wife is out of reach (she sometimes goes hiking in remote areas without cell coverage). I have a good circle of longtime friends who I've been fully open with about what happened and talking about it has been more helpful than I can say in words. If you have trusted friends, don't hide it. You won't feel so lost and alone.

One very useful tool for me has been eMoods. I started using it after getting off the Effexor. It's a daily mood tracker and I now I have two-and-a-half years worth of data on myself. It's a way of detecting any patterns and triggers that might be adding to the difficulties. Things I hadn't noticed before I now see. I highly suggest it.
https://insights.emoodtracker.com/login
Also, 988Hotline saved my life. If I hadn't finally reached out the day I hit the bottom, I wouldn't be here to write these words. File this away.
https://988lifeline.org
One thing I took away from several years of spiraling so deeply downward and then being successfully treated is that people like yourself are strong, not weak. People who are suffering as much as I was and who can still get out of bed in the morning, much less go through their daily lives, have power. Most people aren't as fortunate as I was, it was luck of the draw that my spiral was medication driven. But from the perspective I now have, I am in awe of people who can keep going. I nearly didn't. That extreme depression that life no longer seems to have any value is real. Take a few moments every day to reflect on the strength that has brought you this far despite your towering obstacles.

And please keep us updated. All of us are here to listen and offer suggestions. We care about you. You are a fellow human being. You aren't alone in this.