@gailmalloy Im not recommending this as its not for everyone, but I decided to become my own sponsor. Since I didnt agree with 12 step programs I went back to my past when I was involved in martial arts and eastern philosophy. Alcohol and drug abuse had me forgetting who I was when I was young and had aspirations of a different life. Back when I told myself I'll never end up like that. Theres a story that takes place in a land that never was but always will be. A story of a warrior who fought in a tournament for the right to seek the Book of Zetan. In this book it was said you would find all the secrets of life. Fighters came from all corners of the known lands for the right to seek Zetan. Only if you won the tournament were you allowed to face three challenges that would be found on the path to Zetan. Every seeker faced different challenges. No one had ever returned as the challenges were thought to have proven fatal. The warrior lost the tournament by disqualification but decided to seek Zetan anyway. The 3 challenges he faced were not just battles but his own weaknesses. With strength and insight he won the challenges and was taken to the Temple of Zetan where the book was laid before him. He opened the book and found each page to be a mirror. His reflection was all he saw. He saw everything. This is based on a parable by Bruce Lee. When I became my own sponsor I told myself what I would tell a person I sponsored. I changed words like cant, to wont. This enabled accountability. You see, everyone can quit alcohol or drugs if they decide. So when we switch the word can't to won't it rephrases I can't quit, to, I wont quit. This enables accountability and you begin to hear the real truth. We begin to realize that it is us, who are in control of our own destiny. It is us who has decided to remain dependent and therefore us who must decide to stop. I replaced the word can to will. No longer did I say I can do this. I said I will do this. This reinforces what is known as human agency. The ability to be the author of our own story and the master of our own destiny. When we seek peace and harmony outside ourselves, we leave it far behind. Many people spend their entire lifetime seeking the secrets of life, when it was there all along right in front of them.