@shmerdloff hi and thank you for your thoughtful reply. I started a Buddhist class over a year ago and it has changed my thinking in many ways. This group (sangha) helped me get thru 17 months of chronic pain. Last week I broke down crying and was met with love and understanding. I don’t do therapy any longer. But I am staying with my Buddhist class and teachings. Right now my meditations are mostly focused on self forgiveness. And I throw in a Tonglen meditation for my son periodically, I think I’m becoming a better person thru Buddhism but it does take time. Thank you again for taking time to write…much appreciated.