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Trying very hard to cope with a lifetime of depression
Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Jun 2 8:37pm | Replies (10)Comment receiving replies
If you are doing Buddist style meditation (Soto style), that's very powerful. Stay with it. It's a journey and there is no destination (enlightenment). It just keeps unfolding itself with insights and AHA moments, of yours, which after many years forms a mosaic, pattern, or ha! Gestalt so life makes sense for you, even if it offends you.
Read or listen to Alan Watts, the two Suzukis, and maybe find a good sangha or sitting group that's comfortable for you, but not too comfortable.
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@shmerdloff hi and thank you for your thoughtful reply. I started a Buddhist class over a year ago and it has changed my thinking in many ways. This group (sangha) helped me get thru 17 months of chronic pain. Last week I broke down crying and was met with love and understanding. I don’t do therapy any longer. But I am staying with my Buddhist class and teachings. Right now my meditations are mostly focused on self forgiveness. And I throw in a Tonglen meditation for my son periodically, I think I’m becoming a better person thru Buddhism but it does take time. Thank you again for taking time to write…much appreciated.