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I haven't experienced the physical loneliness as much as I have the loneliness (and fear) that comes with making all the decisions that we once made together. There's just no one to turn to, and everyday fills like this "push pull" of what's next on the list to decide on. Maybe it's my own personal situation on top of the MCI diagnosis last year with my husband, of a move out of our house due to mold, in limbo for 3 months in a hotel, a rental home that also had mold and moveout with a financial loss, another rental (that has yes, turned out great and I"m still in), and living out of storage for 7 months now while we're remodeling with that whole set of issues. Then planning to sell and finding someplace else to go all in the middle of all these lequembe infusions, MRI's, Pet scans, support groups, and just the normal everyday issues that come from insurance company changes, technology issues, medical portals, 1800 numbers that have all gone to AI, where just trying to get a "person" to next to impossible. So, on the brighter side, I'm sorry I'm ranting this morning - Thanks for listening......Ah, another day of decisionmaking and caregiving.......But the sun just came out! Best, Karla
Replies to "I haven't experienced the physical loneliness as much as I have the loneliness (and fear) that..."
@kjc48
Oh yes, the sun will always come out…if not today, tomorrow…we all try our very best to bring some joy to our loved one, and that joy carries us through the not-so-sunny days…take good care
@kjc48 Hi Karla,
You are dealing with a lot! But, I love your positive attitude, and I always enjoy reading your comments. I just need to continue to “reframe” daily. I’m also about to ‘liquidate’ my life of 25 years in another state, and the dread of that process is adding weight & overwhelm to everything right now as well as compounding the aloneness of it all.
I try to “reframe” it as an opportunity for a new chapter ahead.
Your positivity gives me hope. Thank you!
🤗❤️
@kjc48
Hi Karla! My name is Karla too. We have more than our names in common. My husband has PD and dementia. His physical abilities have leveled off. His biggest affliction is Sundowning. He asks a thousand questions and gets angry if I don't give him what he thinks is the correct answer. He is hateful. This is not my husband of 52 years. The next day he remembers none of it. But I do and it is hard to get past day after day. I give every effort to be kind because I know it isn't his fault. If he could change it, he would. All I can say is hang in there. I will pray for comfort and peace for you. Karla
@kjc48 thank you, Karla…you always find positivity in all that you are handling. What a strong and brave woman you are! We are not dealing with all that you are (moving, renting, renovating etc), but the the loneliness in making financial decisions and health decisions and other household decisions that used to be made by a committee of 2- I find that overwhelming also. I find myself now using the pronoun “I” instead of “we”, because it mostly falls to me. Sometimes I think of the “business side” of caregiving as triage. What do I need to put at the top of today’s list, and what can slide until tomorrow? The sun is out here this morning also, so I’ll proceed accordingly.
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@kjc48 wow ! I can’t even imagine moving at this time, let alone living in a hotel and moving 3 times. You are a strong person, I hope your situation improves. I agree finding support is best way to get through this,