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Profile picture for trooperdogg1960 @trooperdogg1960

@heyjoe415 thank you Joe. I couldn't get past step one. Admitting to be powerless was contrary to MY recovery. We all have our own journey and each journey has its own path. I was in a class with a sponsor who had just came back from a relapse. I asked him why he relapsed and his answer was he wasnt doing his program. I replied that I wasnt doing his program either but I didn't relapse. Learned helplessness comes when people depend on an external locus of control. Like religion, they have what's known as agency through proxy. I have a better definition of human agency than offered before. " The capacity of individuals to make their own choices, act independently, and influence their lives and the world, involving conscious decision making, goal setting and purposeful action even within social constraints. Its the feeling of being the author of your own story, using abilities of forethought and reflection. " This is how I got out of the wheelchair and got sober. Ive been sober 4.5 years using this with no need for meetings, sponsors or prayer. At the time I quit drinking I had been a fifth a day drinker for over a decade. I loved the burn of warm vodka. But I turned that love into a revulsion of poison. I convinced myself I could do it through changing my thoughts. No longer did I tell myself it was going to be hard. And it wasn't. It was easy. But only after many failed attempts was I able to find MY path. When people are told repeatedly by sponsors and the media that its difficult, they begin to tell themselves that. And as I said previously, what you tell yourself the most often, you come to believe. Therein lies the way to MY path. I cant make others believe in themselves. I can only show how I did it. As a certified Peer Support Specialist its frustrating working with people who refuse to see their own potential. But as such I can only respect the wishes of those I work with while sharing my success. I chose an internal locus of control over agency through proxy. Bruce Lee once compared Jeet Kune Do to a style with no style. Fighting without fighting. I chose to be the program, instead of joining a program. I wish you and your sponsees much luck. Motion is Medicine.

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Replies to "@heyjoe415 thank you Joe. I couldn't get past step one. Admitting to be powerless was contrary..."

Absolutely brilliant words Trooper. Thank you. One of my favorite passages:

" The capacity of individuals to make their own choices, act independently, and influence their lives and the world, involving conscious decision making, goal setting and purposeful action even within social constraints. Its the feeling of being the author of your own story, using abilities of forethought and reflection. "

Did you write this? It's brilliant advice. And I agree that recovery is easy once we realize that we have to save our own lives - not count on a non-existent god, program, or people to do it for us.

I'm an atheist in that I don't believe there is any proof that any god exists. That doesn't rule anything out.

And for a long time I thought sobriety without the twelve steps and AA was next to impossible. First thought wrong, again. It does help to seek out support and to have people on your side. And they are out there and AA provides a good way to find them. But I find the "god steps" - 2, 2, 3, 6, 7, 10, and 12 to be not necessary. And while step 11 is very useful, communing with a god During meditation is not required.

But working all 12 steps with a sponsor is sufficient for sobriety, is is not necessary. There are other ways and we can be the authors of our own path to sobriety, with a little help from our friends.

All the best Trooper.

Joe