@klf58 I completely understand. I find myself angry also, then I realize, as you do, that it is only making feel worse. I believe anger is a survival skill that I have utilized in place of fear. It is my shield. I had a real problem with rage when I was in active addiction and even after I got sober. I believe it felt empowering in a weird way, but was not helpful. I think it is so cool that you see that working so much is a trauma response. I do not know what you do for a living, but I am hopeful that when I graduate with my MSW, that I can help other people. I know that I tend to focus on others to not look at me. Burn out is a reality in social work as well. I do not want to do that. I experienced burn out at my last job. It was a toxic environment and I did not follow my intuition from the get go. I can look back and see that now. That is where my fear comes in a lot. I do not trust myself to know who/what to trust. I am getting there though.

As I said before, packing and moving is brutal, but you will get it done. Moving back here was almost so big that I could not see it becoming a reality. I will say, that I packed chaotically and did not remember what I put in what box, but got it done. I will also say that I still have boxes and plastic crates in here that are not unpacked and I have been here since 1/2025...But that's okay (I guess).