Shame/blame feelings of cancer diagnosis

I have also read that the top two causes of BC are being a woman, and, over 70. But, right
after that, being overweight. That is why I attribute my bad luck = being that 1 in 8 or 1 in 6 who end up with BC = to not taking better care of my weight. I know that I can’t find a time machine, and all I can do from this point on, is to Do Better. If that is a silver lining, we all struggle to call it “silver”. Just as the “golden years” = ha = I want a refund! It’s not easy for anyone who’s experienced the bilateral amputation and scars, and the heaviness and coldness of implants, to adjust to the new body. I am grateful to have bypassed the radiation and chemo. One main reason I refused a lumpectomy, was to avoid radiation. Seems like a strange “reason” to choose amputation, but after seeing so many after photos of radiation damage, no. It is nice that we do get to make choices. Not so for the generations that went before us. Always more reasons to be grateful, if we just stop to think. Watched a Netflix movie tonight with lots of tears, so that was probably a good thing, too.

@marygrannie I know plenty of overweight women who never get breast cancer! And I also feel guilty...not because of weight but because I was a social drinker for 50 years & alcohol is also a risk factor for breast cancer! All we can do now is move forward. I have stopped drinking & do 5 Pilates classes per week. I'm in better shape now than before diagnosis (I'm 72). And you have lost a ton of weight, which is no easy feat! Let's agree to make our cancer diagnosis a turning point that led us to better health. That's such a positive thing! ☺️

Cancer is such a frustration to our brains. Congratulations on kicking the alcohol habit. We hardly ever drink
but enjoy going to wine country. I would only take a tiny sip from husband’s glass because we would only pay for one tasting. Used to enjoy the charcuterie boards, too, and guess what, now most of what’s on those is “bad” = processed meats, most cheeses…..thank goodness I can partake of a red grape and one small cube of gouda! We are mostly there for the scenery anyway, with a nice drive in the country. Silver lining = no more money spent on wine ~ ! All of this is about altering one’s mind in order to preserve the body.
We do tend to fight change. Perhaps especially when we’ve already gone through so many changes that have given us pain and scars. Knowing full well that so many cancer victims have it so much worse than we. Around and around we go, but at least we are, still living.

Don't listen to people who put you down for getting cancer. There's a myriad of reasons why and the Drs still don't know how or why. I had a niece, a sister both with cancer like mine and all 3 of us had different lifestyles
The media loves telling us what we did to get cancer. Don't listen. I think we all have cancer in us and for reasons, I hope in the future, research will find the answer as to why and how is is manifested
Please don't stress yourself ,the past is past . Just start now

Angel 2times here!
Cancer is cancer! It knows no age, no creed, no socio-economic background, no race, or country, how times you have had it or what kind pops up here or there. You don't even have to have the cancer gene!!! I have had cancer twice and I have no cancer gene. The people that are blame you or someone else about getting cancer are uneducated in this realm and shouldn't be listened too! Just fight to get rid of it as soon as you can and go on with your life!

Here’s a reason I might have gotten cancer, I used: plastics with phalates and PCBs, pesticides, herbicides, fire retardant items, non stick pans, cars with carbon monoxide emissions, photo sensitive chemicals, hair color, hair straightener (okay, dumb), formaldehyde nail products, food dye, gas stove, shampoos/conditioners/creams with additives and benzene, dry cleaned clothes, used air fresheners, candles, oven cleaner, VOCs in new carpet, held thermal paper receipts, and ate charred/fried food acrylamide/HCA. I also worked in buildings with asbestos, lived in big congested cities, and breathed in campfire smoke. Just a short list of some of the carcinogens.
Oh, and, yo-yo dieted most of my life.

Even Claude couldn’t figure out which of these caused my cancerous cells.

how come people who don't smoke get lung cancer?? you didn't do anything with the hell-bent intent of getting cancer so don't beat yourself up about it.

In my opinion Cancer is not something that just fall from heaven and you don’t have anything to do with it. Most of cancers are not genetic but related to our habits. That said I don’t think blame is going to help you at all at this point. Cancer is a big question mark . What I’m doing with my nutrition, exercise, stress , emotions. Cancer I think invites us to go inside and review what decision we had made in our lives not to regret for them but for being able to stand up , make different or better choices. Not easy though . But is the way I’m processing this and in this journey that started 2 years ago for me had taught me a lot about my self and like an onion in layers a lot of things have come to the surface that I’m working to heal.

It’s ok to have feelings. Cancer is frightening and we all react to it in some way. You aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s good to express your feelings. Don’t punish yourself for your very normal reactions. You are on the right track when you think about what your response would be to a friend in the same situation. You would be kind.

In 1600s Puritan culture people believed that someone had sinned if completely random bad things happened to them. If a farmer’s barn burned down after being struck by lightning or crops failed for example. We still fall into that kind of thinking.

We are bombarded with media about how to live, eat, think to avoid cancer and heart disease, etc. It’s important to understand that it’s a multi-billion dollar business. And it’s very predatory.

I value rational and stoic thinking. It helps me cope. Fear still grips me at times. I found that allowing it for a bit helps much more than trying to avoid feeling. Sometimes a good cry is needed other times I plan for the worst. Planning is a coping mechanism for me. What really matters is giving yourself the space to accept yourself and your thoughts.

@triciaot Thanks, this is a great reminder for everyone of the environmental factors we may not even remember being exposed to! Many of these I was exposed to also; but added in was likely exposure to Nuclear radioactive releases & fallout in the 40's & 50's in my childhood in WA state, pesticides when gardening like Roundup, etc. I think my heredity from my Grandmother who got BC around age 70 was a big factor, but environmental factors may have caused changes so that I got it much earlier the first time, age 43. No genetic mutations show up in testing however.