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Shame/blame feelings of cancer diagnosis
Breast Cancer | Last Active: 3 days ago | Replies (42)Comment receiving replies
It will be 1 year since my diagnosis, this June. Still struggling with the guilt, that at that time I was 30 pounds overweight at age 73. I have since lost 30 pounds. But, everything we read says that being overweight at my age is a big factor that increases the chance for BC. In my case, then, it was mostly my fault for mistreating my body to the point that cancer tried to kill me. It also increases my % for getting recurrence. My mirror is my daily reminder of what I did to myself. And, even though I’ve lost that weight, the damage may be a ticking time bomb. I worry what the upcoming first-ever colonoscopy will reveal. In July I have knee replacement surgery, so that is also on me, as being overweight is bad for our joints. I know that I can’t go back in time. But the guilt is terrifying and so far hasn’t subsided. Everyone says put it in the past. That is what I would say to a friend. But in my heart I do believe that I did a terrible thing to myself and I will forever regret it. Had I reached for an apple instead of that ice cream sandwich or that chicken strip, I would have kept the cancer cells from taking hold.
Replies to "It will be 1 year since my diagnosis, this June. Still struggling with the guilt, that..."
@marygrannie I know plenty of overweight women who never get breast cancer! And I also feel guilty...not because of weight but because I was a social drinker for 50 years & alcohol is also a risk factor for breast cancer! All we can do now is move forward. I have stopped drinking & do 5 Pilates classes per week. I'm in better shape now than before diagnosis (I'm 72). And you have lost a ton of weight, which is no easy feat! Let's agree to make our cancer diagnosis a turning point that led us to better health. That's such a positive thing! ☺️
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@marygrannie I'm sorry you feel so guilty, and I have to add I don't think breast cancer is really under our control. Being overweight might be one of dozens of possible contributing factors. But frankly the main factor I've read about is age. Breast cancer increases with age, which we certainly can't control. I have always exercised, maintained a moderate weight (if not skinny), eaten a reasonably healthy diet, breast fed my daughter, never smoked, don't drink, never took hormones--well, I have a rare neuroendocrine breast tumor. So although diet and exercise are good for feeling good and overall health they do not prevent breast cancer. It is concerning that your guilt is so sharp and painful. Might it help to talk to a therapist or oncology counselor or someone else you trust? I found diagnosis and treatment to be stressful enough without blaming myself, and you might feel more peaceful if you could find a way to diminish the guilt. What do you think might help? Thinking of you.