I have been on a long journey with antidepressants. The SSRIs put me in the hospital with suicide attempt, twice. In the last year and a half I’ve been working with a medication manager, who has tried me on not less than eight different medication’s.

Two weeks ago during my monthly appointment, he looked over the newest meds, which were not working for me, and decided to go old school instead.

I started on nortriptyline liquid on May 1. Now I can’t explain it, and there’s nothing out there that says this should be true, but on May 2 I woke up and remember thinking to myself, so this is what depression free brain feels like.

I was told that the nortriptyline was also something I could take to help me sleep. I have not found this to be true. That said, I’m only on 3 mg right now.

Now on May 13, still depression free brain. I know the depression is still there, but it feels like a weighted blanket is on top of it. No more doom and gloom, no more suicidal ideation.