Connect
← Return to Helping adult son who has depression
Discussion
Helping adult son who has depression
Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Jan 22, 2023 | Replies (30)Comment receiving replies
@crabby55 You didn’t mention you married a man who at 65 had never been married before. I think that fact along with fact he has ignored his depression his entire life leaves you very few options.
My first thought is for you to cut your losses and leave the marriage. Obviously you are younger and deserve to be happy. From what you tell me that happiness will elude you if you stay in this relationship. People don’t change at 65 unless they have some incentive to change. Unfortunately it sounds like your husband enjoys being miserable.
Good luck to you but don’t ruin the rest of your life living with a lost cause. Life is too short. It is time for an either or conversation. Either he allows you to help him or you leave.
Sorry to be so blunt but someone has to want to change and he doesn’t seem to want to change. His Doctor seems totally over his head.
Replies to "@crabby55 You didn’t mention you married a man who at 65 had never been married before...."
Connect
@daveshaw thanks Dave. I do get it. We went together for 13 years before marrying. The big change came upon his retiring. He is 8 years older than I am.
I do consider my options. Fortunately I did quite intensive therapy after my divorce. I did learn to truly think about what I am compromising and why. I do lead a very independent life. I had just imagined things would be more shared or having companionship. Again, I do have a very full life and many good friends. In my therapy I did learn I don't want to be "in the taking care of" business. I know some view that as cold or hardcore. I do take care of myself. It's not always easy. I appreciate honesty and bluntness.
ps. I have told him he is married to his depression.