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@marybird So very glad to see your sober-thinking post. As we age, we seem to put more and more wishful thinking, dreaming, behind us. We have learned that our time and energy, not to mention our considerable life's learning, is best placed in front of intractable and recurrent problems that threaten our peace and longevity. As I have said in front of friends and family, I, a life-long competitive runner and Type A, with modest levels of achievement as an adult, went from a smug mature male to a pill-popping and rather chastened and frightened, wide-eyed older guy inside of a few minutes on an ER table with 12 leads running away from my torso and legs. It wasn't a kick in the teeth, but it was a stinging rebuke for losing self-awareness to the point where my sleep apnea, diagnosed as severe, squared me away...pronto. Like you, I now accept my mortality, and my energy goes toward making myself available to my ailing wife for as long as I can be of use to her, and for her sake. Our kids want their mom to be a grandma for a while longer, one of them with a brand new toddler girl at the ripe age of 45. And grandma wants to be around, and wants ME to be around. So, I have to adopt a realistic and mature approach to living. If the pills help me, I'll darned well take 'em. 😀
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@gloaming I think knowing that you have loved ones who truly love and care about you, and want you around- and of course that sense of purpose in your life are the strongest motivators for wanting to do what you need to take care of yourself, do what's needed to manage or mitigate the effects of those comorbidities that crop up as we grow older ( and older and older, LOL). I also have to thank my long time health care providers ( PCP and cardiologist, and their staff) for encouraging me and acting as cheerleaders, as it were, to live my best life, and supporting my efforts to mitigate those effects of old age, genetics and admittedly indiscriminate activities ( I ignored my high blood pressure for way too long when I was younger, and that's taken its toll). These docs truly care about their patients and show that with every encounter.
I always figure you gotta do what you need to to keep going, so that you're able to do what you really want to do.
I know your kids and grandkids want not just grandma, but grandpa too, to be around and part of their lives for as long as can be!